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The Thrill Is Gone

For weeks I've been writing easily
but coldly, shielding myself perhaps,
behind a sturdy rationality,
against a loss of basic love.

Where has all the feeling gone?

Patiently I sit and smoke till dawn
(wishing I could somehow stop)
waiting for a surge that doesn't come
to help me write a poem again.

Am I getting too old to be sensitive?
Perhaps our skins get thicker
like our toenails, with advancing age.

The fact my wife and daughter
don't seem to love me any more
just slides off my back like water
in an accustomed morning shower.

As I don't want to let them hurt me,
I need this shell around my softness,
and vow to let them desert me
without saying how I really feel.

Having done so much to deserve rejection,
I shouldn't complain, I think,
so I listen to B.B.King's 'The Thrill Is Gone'
and wish I could sing like him.

Editing stage: 

Comments

if u want to ensure the thrill of ur poetry does remain
go visit the
UNDISCOVERED LIST
AND
read as many as u can
again and again
comment on them now that's the game
then only some one may help you
to the thrill in u remain or retain
that's all about poetry
my dear,
you read me ten times
I may once
hope you do hear! unlike me my dear...

I have read about ten of your poems and I find them very original, above all in their bold use of rhyme, unusual word order and nicely old-fashioned vocabulary sometimes. They seem simple in a way but they contain uncommon and often fascinating thoughts. I'm afraid I didn't read them ten times as you suggest I should, but I may well come back to them in future, as their highly creative, poetic use of language might have a good influence on my rather prosaic work.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

for walking across
do some time again
if you want to

welcome friends for all your kind comments
make them as harsh as you will
welcome i will
my poetic friend
you will remain
still!

Lovely, unexpected ending Robert.
I think your family is fully occupied with the new baby, so nothing much to worry about.
Enjoy your solitude for a while.
Write on !

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Yes, I think I may have been displaced a bit by my grandchild who is now getting all the attention! But my loss of love really began with my fourteen years of mental illnesses, which put a little strain on our lives to put it mildly. As you suggest, I suppose I should wait to see if things improve one day. As for the unexpected ending I'm glad it worked. In the end this poem turned about to be about the loss of two different though connected "thrills', that of being able to write moving poetry and that of losing the affection of two of the dearest people in my life. Thanks for your comment and glad you liked this.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

were bipolar depression, alcoholism and paranioia, not a fun combination.

author comment

and being paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you. Bukowskie- "A paranoid is a man with all the facts.

You write beautifully and with feeling, but it doesn't make it poetry. Read Stephen Fry's "The Ode Less Travelled"

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

My paranoia seems to have disappeared thanks to some wonderful injections. I can't tell you how good it is to just feel normal again! The thugs I thought were after me have suddenly taken a holiday, I hope a very long one. As to whether this is poetry or not I think I'm past caring.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

spacing and see what you get. I played around a bit, with the punctuation, too. Ok, and a few words . . .
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For weeks I've been writing easily,
coldly shielding myself behind
a sturdy rationality, against
a loss of basic love.

Where has all the feeling gone?

Patiently I sit and smoke till dawn
(wishing I could somehow stop)
waiting for a surge that doesn't come to

help me write a poem again.

Am I getting too old to be sensitive?
Our skins get thicker like our toenails,
with advancing age. The fact

my wife and daughter don't love me any more
slides off my back like water in
an accustomed morning shower.

I don't want them to hurt me, I need
this shell around my softness,
this vow to let them desert me
this not saying how I really feel.
Complicit in my rejection,

I shouldn't complain, I think,
so I listen to B.B.King's 'The Thrill Is Gone'
and wish
-------------I could sing like him.

Such line-breaks make this attempt at poetry more different to prose, and I thank you for taking the trouble to make them. My only doubt is whether such techniques miss out on the usefulness of line-breaks as a form of punctuation, as they offer a pause a little shorter than a comma, something which prose can't do. Ever since Ezra Pound told us to "make it new" we have been striving to make our work constantly original, stretching the reader's ability to understand us. I confess I have lost such fire and now prefer to say things clearly enough for anyone to grasp without having to rack their brains, even at the risk of being prosaic. I will nevertheless take you suggestions into consideration.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

I just enjoy playing in people's poems. Thanks for the sandbox.

What do you mean by sandbox in this context? I've looked it up but still don't get it.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

a place to play, i.e., the poem was my place to play.

they say
this is no poetry
yet it thrills me
and I get all the attention
that does not kill me

injections do
they all fleece me
anxiety what they say
tis it

Jess says read this

Stephen Fry's "The Ode Less Travelled"

so do go and read it
let them all share
your thrill

now so still!

welI I just returned from across eternity ,
now they all call it www ....only

Stephen Fry's "The Ode Less Travelled"

I READ SOME RAVE REVIEWS
SOME AND MANY MOSTLY
GAVE IT A FIVER STAR
NOT DOLLAR
FEW shaved OFF ONE
AND ANOTHER ADDED
A MINUS

TILL A BOLD MAYBE SILLY GUY LIKE ME...
GAVE IT A SINGLE*
STAR

Thank god there were no minus
else all would crave for darkness!

But I gathered the nerve
to tell Jess
I am still brilliantly
the idiotic best
with still
a broad bare chest

He reads me
that's enough
I am a poet
that is no bluff

like any other
my dear Jess

on poetry. "The Ode Less Travelled" by Stephen Fry. You write beautifully but you might discover some unexpected pleasures in your craft.

On the other hand you are quite right not to care too much, your writing is your own and stands in its own rite.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

the book you recommend as soon as I have enough spare cash. Money limitations are the reason why I haven't applied for Premium Membership yet, by the way, as well as not having a credit card. I am keen to support Neopoet in some way, as here I get far more feedback than at poemhunter.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

[grins]
Neopoet can always use some support and poets are notoriously impecunious, whatever support you can give, when you can is always appreciated.
http://www.neopoet.com/faq/answer/how-can-i-contribute-financially-can-i...

Those of us who have benefited for many years from the most honest and directly helpful poetry site on the web live in fear that it will finally crash financially. I can honestly say I have learned more about poetry and improved my own from Neopoet than I did from achieving an MA in poetry.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

in Spain wouldn't stock the book in question, so I'll have to order it from a bookshop or from Amazon, but thanks for the suggestion. It's nice to see that you too have found Neopoet helpful. As for finance, Poemhunter uses advertising heavily, but I suppose that might alter the nature of the site.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

you may have noticed we have much in common. I promise the thrill will return.

Try writing some dirty limericks, it always helps me, but that is just me.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I hope you're right about the thrill.
Best wishes.
Robert.

author comment

the prosodic qualities are much more evident than I at first perceived, for the ways of Robert are "Subtle and (fortunately not) quick to anger".
This is impressive work.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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