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The Tarp's Ministry

Submitted by fink555 on Sun, 2017-11-05 15:16

A memoria, palms risen, black candle headdress
a clown shuffling tarot, lamps bursting
Long noses, carnival ministry grounds
of a dream's tarp skin marred
by an opal double with flowers from
his tomb. by this sense I can trace her absence
How does her ellipsed scent remain?
I meant to ask to do you smoke
from a doll catheter or from vape?
Who was that who did?

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Tue, 2018-01-16 01:37

weirdelf's picture
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I don't think I even saved it.

The poem is tough on a drunken tongue, which indicates scansion flaws, you might want to read it aloud to yourself.

This has the very unusual quality, for me, of causing shock.
"I meant to ask to do you smoke
from a doll catheter or from vape?"

What the fucking fuck? you're freaking me out, man.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

fink555

Wed, 2018-01-17 23:25

fink555's picture

only put it up for awhile, man.

A doll catheter might shock some. Not me.

Thanks :)))

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