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sun doh yan
a type of silence
is spreading
a slice of the earth
falls away
some laugh, some get fat
others over the edge venture
a type of silence
falls away, Tiangu, I defy you!
a slice of the earth
is spreading
falls away, others over the edge
the dupes write missives of apology
some rat, some sell hooks
basic precepts, basic precepts
mit einem langweiligen Buch
kann er nichts anfangen
il porte un costume sans tête
La esencia del absurdo conquista la mesa de la Autoridad!
I no longer care who wins the next election: I cannot vote
winds of disaster take over the province; we fall off the stage!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I am new here but have been writing and posting for a long time.
Editing stage:
Contest:
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Comments
Eumolpus
Wed, 2019-05-22 00:52
I leave the poem
feeling I am reading a poet who has read a lot of poetry and understands poetry. I basically like the same poets as you, I did a masters in Rimbaud.
I don't have a clue where the poem is coming from, what is the intent or force behind it... I would like to. I have no idea why the images and narrative leads you to the conclusion to not vote...
At some point I look at a many poems and feel either I'm too dumb to figure it out, or the poet just didn't give me a clue other than in some abstract surrealism. This reader needs more, like the poetry written by the wonderful poets you admire. You always know what the poem is about.
Not what it means....that belongs to poetry. What it is about. As the man said in the end (macleash) , "a poem cannot both be and not mean. Therein lies the paradox"
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Robert Leutwiler
Wed, 2019-05-22 15:49
INVISIBLE LISTENERS: in Herbert, Whitman, and Ashbery
(Helen Vendler) page 80:
In poems radiating out toward an invisible listener, we find a kind of lyric Utopia, in which possible models of human relations are produced, scrutinized, revised, and consolidated....
author commentRobert Leutwiler
Wed, 2019-05-22 15:51
not voting
BTW, since I will be in Puerto Rico for the next presidential election in 2020, I will not be able to vote for president only for Puerto Rican electoral candidates.
author comment