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Stupid Girl

poor, poor little girl
she wants to be grown up
longing for a home
while she sits and sulks
and thinks and thinks
of how to play this game
go fastfastfast
until you get enough
but you never get enough
so shut up kid
when the sky is this blue she must envy it
she must be set apart, yet she must be the same
so cool and clever, so deliberately far from the box
that damnable, evil mold everyone falls victim to
whatever you say dear
you'll have your time to fly high
stop flapping so hard, you'll hurt yourself
you will be older when you're older
but i guess she'll never see that
i want i want i NEED is all she knows
wanting and needing and yearning and craving
that's how she fucks everyone up
with her wanting and wishing
lying
that's all it is
i want
i wish
i need her to
understand.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
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Last few words: 
just a stupid girl.
Editing stage: 

Comments

thanks for the kind words lon!
mag

author comment

Yet at times do you feel it lacks poetic qualities a little?
It's hard to make concrete suggestions here but I would recommend Stan's new workshop FROM PROSE TO POETRY.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

i'm not too sure what i was going for with this one. no excuses, it's not very poetic really, but i was kind of bitching someone out in prose-like form :) i thought making it more structured and poetic would make it less blunt. i will look into the wrokshop, thanks.
mag

author comment
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