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still a rose
Sometime ago, a seed was planted.
The soil was tainted from Parents that fainted,
and abandoned Me to the wind.
I've weathered many turbulent storms.
Still I had to nourish myself,
so that I could flourish and grow.
Whatever my fate is, I do not know.
I shudder to think that God will ever let Me go.
Much favor and Blessings have come my way.
That is why I wish to say.
I'm glad for the Seasons that come and go,
for I'm still growing,
I'm a blushed vibrant color,
from the seed that made Me who I am today.
For Days I've wished and prayed.
That the womb that carried Me,
and the seed that Made Me, were able to see me some Day.
Time is a ticking and life goes on.
They may still be breathing or perhaps passed on.
For Me i'm still pushing on,
striving for Better Days as time passes along.
I'm still here. I'm STILL A ROSE.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This poem depicts the life that I have lived, and continue to live. Someone once told me that Poetry is A feeling put into words. It is a Expression of ones Ideas and memory's that was once just words made into a story for people to read and relate to.
Joseph A. Smith
Cynthia M. Frederick
Editing stage:
Contest:
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Comments
vandiemenspeak
Sun, 2017-07-09 06:56
A rose is a rose is a rose...welcome Jasmi!
And if the depiction of your life as the growth of a rose was your intention, then this is a lovely, tender first post, obviously a very personal subject , some great images in there, I liked::
"I've weathered many turbulent storms."
Simple title, says it all - did you have any portrait of a rose in mind, by the way? Just curious.
A great start, welcome.
Thanks,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
lovedly
Sun, 2017-07-09 20:10
and with the seed you were seeded
your god as a living Rose in you had intended
god bless roses like you
these days they are many
not few
best of luck
O Rose everlasting one
to you
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-07-10 05:05
Wonderful first post and welcome to Neopoet.
"Poetry is A feeling put into words", yes, it can be. It is also "compression of meaning" and yes, this is a sum much greater than the words.
I look forward to more of your work and your critique on others' works.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2017-07-10 22:05
Nicely done
Feeling put Words heals never imposes
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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