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Starting from Scratch (Sonnet contest)

When was the world not total madness,
When did everybody start complaining?
The meat is overcooked or it’s raining.
The emperor is married to a hag, so sad!

It’s time for boys to test skills in battle,
It’s time for girls to breast feed babies.
The old ones die of sadness or disease
While the bells of madness rattle.

The hours pass in phases of the moon
And days in slow-moving seasons.
There’s never a moment’s peace or reason
From the commotion that living consumes.

We are merely born to time and place.
Madness is the fodder of the human race.

Editing stage: 

Comments

just leave off the [ness] on the first line. You could do it: When was the world not totally mad?
Still the same amount of syllables.

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and yet not a sonnet.most lines don't stick to pentemeter nor to the right syllable count. Saying this I still like the theme and the way you see our mad world.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Rula- i think after all I've been reading lately the sonnet is no longer confined to exact formulas of rhymes and stresses. The basic shape is there, a 14 line event with some rhyme scheme and a couplet to finish. also the intent of the sonnet, to within the space not try to say too much, keep focused. and end with a bang. Those limitations alone suffice. Today the meter is more like a Frank Zappa song- drums going in different rhythms at the same time. but there is an underlying idea, like a haiku. Are we in English really counting the syllables, and does it really matter? Surely the huge field of so called Haikus written today in english do not follow the exact syllable count. and no one should care, either. Same with sonnet- a style like a nursery rhyme to us. Mozart. Beethoven thought out of the box with sonata forms, or ballads. so must we with the exact demand of iambic pentameter sonnets. Ho-hum!

Geezer, I considered, preferred the slanty rhyme (madness/mad) and the implication. Mad seems it could also also mean angry. Also the repetition in the last line.

Thanks for your responses. I don;t seem to get too many...nor most of us lately...

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

author comment

You are more up-to-date poet Mark. I'm more following the old school. Things look to become easier everyday when it comes to meter, rhyme...etc.
Thank you!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

only you could have said it
Eumol
And I have been stressing since beginning of my time
modern generation has no time
just simply rhyme
desylablify may be

C O N G R A TS
from all must b

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