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autumn wind blew strong and the night leaves
cast shadows like hands scratching ground
the sounds were the sounds of old echoes
who whispered their way into terrified ears
while hearts feared all the trees would come down

the moon hid unlit behind black sky
mars, red-faced, escaped his jailed form
the giant was there, nonetheless
and his essence escaped, away, light years to fly
through that sky's dark and grey crying clouds

all went silent, still the stiff purple gown
those robes of the goddess, now torn
released with screeches goblins and ghouls
who giggled and gasped as they dropped to the earth
and invaded soft minds with their words

that emerged from the still and silent
all words spinning like tops across floors
the words were the lines of old poets
refusing to stay in some dusty old books
now allowed to recite at midnight

the fall winds wound down after midnight
nevermore a word to be heard
for a year and a minute they'd have to wait
and back into their tombs and tomes they went
until books could fly open once again

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


love it the imagery is excellent
may I make one small suggestion 2nd stanza switch one of the esape/escaped to fled

amazing line 2nd stanza line two mars etc
all in all most enjoyable reading this poem

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

thanks fpr the compliment i am thinking of how to get rid of the second escaped. fled to me would work with the accents but i am not sure about it

author comment

I love you flows ma'am.


thanks collins. i love your style too. maybe someday there will be a contest on here for a duet, or should i say collaboration, or co-authored lol

author comment

You're welcome. Duet or coauthored, I'm even confused about that, lol! but I think it should be coauthored, that's what they also call on this site (Neopoet). So, coauthored should also be correct and rich


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