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Sonnet (untitled)

Oh summer days of youth, those days of grace --
sun ripened fruits, red cherry-plums and figs,
sweet wines from vines of interwoven lace,
all grown, as magic, out of winter's twigs.

The jaunt through autumn gives the chance to flaunt
the cougar's prime as, gently, life enthralls.
Until begins the search for kindly warmth,
as whiskers turn to snow and fig leaves fall.

No stopping time, encroaching frosty gales
begin their rage against mortality --
assailing, carving coats with wrinkled braille,
as all matures towards senility.

But, always, grows from winter's icy sting
the promise of tomorrow's nascent spring.
.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Of course everyone knows that sonnet is one of your favorite poetry forms and you are an expert at it. i especially loved the final two verses ...i thought you may want to tweak the third quadrant to make it free flowing...just my thought...

much love...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I'm not sure where you found the third stanza out.... if you'd said the first I would've understood, as it isn't quite iambic - a few trochee in there, but I think I get away with them .... but the third is iambic to my ear....
any suggestions for a title?
thanks for the visit and comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Apologies Judyanne...

You are fully aware that I am absolutely no good when it comes to those strict forms, in fact the very word Sonnet still gives me nightmares..what I had said was my unqualified opinion going by the ear...please ignore it..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Your ear heard something out - just because mine doesn't, doesn't mean you are wrong...
any crit is helpful in that it makes me check
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Hi Judyanne
Enjoyed this, it has a vague `Ode to Autumn feel about it - or is it just that Romantic association?
I absolutely love the rhyming couplet. Jx

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Thanks, I'm happy you enjoyed this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

intricacies of sonnets
tried to tell me judy you

but waffle now i slice
and poetry pays my price

but waffle i thought was spice
yet you despise
as if it were rice!

Thanks for the visit
waffle...piffle....
keep culling :)
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

all will cull me you know the fate of wafflers no?

judy maaaaaa'm

There is a beauty to this write that is unexplainable.
It has the quality of a lullaby. and the quiet strength of a romantic relationship between seasons.
This is a wonderful way to attribute each its power. The pictures from words lead you by the hand to its inevitable conclusion.
Well done, Bravo!!

Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Lovely to see you :)
Thanks for the very kind comments....
was aiming for a subtext of human life , but glad you found the seasonal connection...
a lullaby - nice - I think the iambic and double rhyming in places might attribute to that.... unintentional, but interesting as lullaby really fits the theme....
wow thanks lol - I did good without knowing

Thanks Eddie
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Haven't been around for a while what with broken computers, quadruple bypass surgery and such. In fact I can't remember the last time I read a poem. It has been many, many months.
I knew I was acting wisely by starting again with you.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Welcome back Wesley..

Hope you are now fine....wishing you happy times and good health always...you were missed here...

Stay well.

raj (sublime_ocean)

I've been away a while - saw you'd been unwell only recently....
glad to see you're on the improve.... great to see you back

Thanks for the visit and very kind compliment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

It was cool. The most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. My life was over. Sooner or later (sooner)... then the event. It was unbelievable.

I don't recommend it however. It is a bit disturbing to say the least.
They stop the heart you know. For hours at a time...
Whew.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

and the word use throughout carries its bravdo
and compassionate edge too the last..

Nice use of nascent

excellent Judy!

Thank U!

for the visit and kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

We all are a part of Snowman's SONNET workshop

Your sonnet is perfect
but for my weakness of identifying syllables
can you remark this beautiful piece

so that we all can learn
where 'tis iambic
where trochee
and
the two more
dactyle etc
and
also let all know some thing about
scansions
what it means

a dull piffling still poet me
once loved
now ly

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