Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Snuggle

snuggle like tendrils
akin to their intimate
seductive twirling

their delicate touch rouses
budding lilies and lilacs

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I especially liked the couplets.

I am not though so happy with the "awaking does awake" as it seems a bit forced and would suggest "ignite" instead of "does wake". It shall keep the syllable count for you too.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Thanks Rula for the time, visit and comment

Will look at the suggestion made by you and see what I can.do

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

If you happen to visit this page again see if the tweaks I have given now work better.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I like it much better.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Thanks Rula for re-visiting this page and expressing your satisfaction with the edits.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

feel to this fine write.

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

I like it . . .
it's not too much
it's not too weak
it's just right for Goldilocks

Thank you both for taking time to visit this page, your read and leaving an encouraging comment which is appreciated.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

my heart
and our garden box
traingle out front
lie black and ravaged
looking

how anything can arrive
from frozen solid
earth is beyond me
let alone survive

i put in phone hydro
pole once in winter
three feet of frost
often
backhoe
spud bar
but a pole is a stick
not the miracle of
life
and we were but
simple men

I like the weave
of your words in
this...My woman
loves flowers
and I admit
but dont tell
anyone but
I like them
too

A fantastic
short that
works for
spring!

the title threw
me off a bit
I snorted a few
times but curiousity
got the best of me
and we all comment
eventually on eachs
works here

Thank you for your time, read and comment. Good to know you liked it. wo9uld you like to suggest another title for this?

Nice of you to share your experience about winter...my son and daughter in law too live in Sudbury, Ontario where the winters are pretty rough..but they enjoy it....

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Soft warm things I have old issues..
petals and thorns I know well
Mothers day close and all...
Sudbury....just seventy miles from us
they had a cold winter..many water lines
froze...shes built on rock..the ancient
nest of the great gold nickle copper
meteroite

I found it to be long..the duration of our
cold past few years exceptional
usually we get respites in between
Northerns per say are out there skiing
walking trails in all weather!
Many say it relieves anxiety stress
time away to think..nature..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.