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BEFORE SLEEP COMES

The spring wind is in the eaves tonight
and it moans a solitary sound
while I sit beneath a reading light
listening to my old heart pound.

Sometimes I read on nights like this
after Susan's gone to bed
and while she's dreaming of some bliss
some author's tale fills up my head.

And other times I take my pen
to write of things I've said or done
not knowing when the tale will end
once the ink's flow has begun.

In between each line and rhyme
I hear the sounds which houses make
or listen as the hall clock tics off time
counting life for counting's sake.

But as wee hours become close
my lids grow heavy and eyes blur
and I catch myself about to doze.
I shake my head and start to stir.

So I arise on bones that pop
then toward the bedroom limp and creep
in hopes my swirling thoughts might stop
and let me drift off into sleep.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Grand write, know how you feel I go to bed at around 12-30, the wife goes about 10pm so that space of time is another world of thinking and writing with the odd noise of the night to distract,
Take care and keep them coming,
Yours Ian
It has been April 1st for a few hours now, (9hrs-30mins BST ----- 8hrs 30mins GMT) and I still don't know the theme of Aprils contest ??? lol

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

We all have "alone" times and mine seem to usually come late in the evening when I can let thoughts and sometimes in flow uninterrupted. Thanks for coming by........stan PS My fault about contest. I'll get it posted in next few hours

author comment

Loved the write the request about the contest well I was going to ask at 12-01 last night lol, but decide to leave Neopoet (My Blog on Leaving) as it was becoming too much lol.
So disappointed that only Jess asked me to stay, La La,
Yours, Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

is that everybody saw through your attempt at April fool joke and didn't want to encourage such foolishness be cause it might even lead to directors staging the same type thing lol.....stan

author comment

You is badness, I have removed the article lol
Yours Ian..
Mind you it did receive a comment La La

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

piece of writing scribbler, lovely story telling.

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

Thank you. Always good to see you've come by........stan

author comment

who has been afflicted with sleep problems almost all my life, this resonates with me. Your story flows with a great sense of meter. [You must have been getting lessons from somewhere]. And as usual, excellent rhyming! ~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Can't imagine where I'd go to get meter beaten into my hard head lmao. I'm pleased my being abused by MM and others is beginning to show up in better writing. (just teasing you MM). I'm not pleased you've had sleep problems but I am happy this resonated with you.........stan

author comment

You made me hear the tick toc of your wall clock with exquisite use of words to create the images and mood...i wish you could come up with a better title...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

the title comes before I start writing and other times the poem precedes the title. When poem comes first the title is often hard to come up with. Such was the case here.......stan

author comment

How about "Night Prowl"

raj (sublime_ocean)

I think most folks who read my scribblings know how much I hesitate to change a title once a poem is posted. Doing so might be misconstrues as my trying to "trick" people into reading a poem twice. Your title suggestion implies the protagonist is moving about or pacing which is not what I want to convey. But I Do appreciate your taking time to think about it........stan PS somebody might need to run a shop on titles heh, heh

author comment

It was just a suggestion. Appreciate your thoughts.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

want to appear as though I'm brushing off your suggestion because I'm not. ALL suggestions are always welcome and even if I don't use them on this poem it doesn't mean that the suggestion won't be of use in a future poem. But changing a title? I think I've written almost 1,000 poems and if I'm not mistaken I've changes a title , maybe, 3 times.............stan

author comment

Not that I am capable of suggesting anything worthwhile. Besides I appreciate the reason you mentioned about not changing Title I wont walk that lane again...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

the 3 times I Did change a title 2 of the times was due to somebody suggesting a title which was Much better than the original so please continue suggesting anything including title changes.......stan

author comment

Rhythm not bad, could improve a tad, but I'm not going to pick today xx

But
listen as the clock ticks off time
counting time for counting's sake
- can I suggest you change that second 'time' to another word?

I think all muses are night owls... I have the majority of any inspiration in the wee hours...

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I find now that it's true that old folks don't sleep much and I guess those older than I (who Could I be talking about lol?) sleep even less. The clock ticking line bothered me when first written. But with fresh eyes I think I see an easy fix which won't mess up message.......stan

author comment

I can hear you as loud as those irritating clocks, we only sleep less because our brains are more active, and I wont accept any other reason for the short sleeps.
I have ear phones on and damn me when the music goes quiet I can hear the damn things, man and his time only invented so they could make job cards and clocks to warrant us being paid so little lol,
Take care, from an older one,
Yours Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Are you sure you're not my husband? you sound just like him! Lol

Very nice poem Stan, it's a window into your life. :)

Love to you

Mand xxx

I'm reasonably certain that I'm not lol. Thanks for taking the time to drop by........stan

author comment

are you suggesting that your hubby finds it more interesting to write poetry while you are already in bed? ..lol.

please don't read too much into what i said...what i meant was what is so scary about you that he doesn't follow you to bed? lol..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Raj - he's like Stan! I'm a morning person ( get up early, go to bed early ). Husband goes to bed late gets up early. :). He likes to watch political debates and si-fi / detective programmes.

And yes! I am scary. Lol

good to know it made you laugh. ..i suggest don't scare him too much..but then being a detective he knows all your secrets :)

Happy Easter to You and your beloveds..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Okay, the poem is good. I wouldn't mess with it, but I thought we already had this talk. It's not different. This is vintage Stan. How about a real love poem? I need an excuse, so if you write one I will. We can post them together. It'll be perfect: I can't write one either.
Let's make them short and sweet, any style.
Seriously, I need to write a love poem and you need to write something very different.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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A different type love poem? Well, I guess I'm about due to write Susan another one. It'll take a few days to come up with something so let's see what drips out of the pen. BTW if you think I'm gonna stop writing any nature based poems you're in for a frustrating time.............stan PS I Have written some love poems, I guess you just missed them. You might check out "Ageless Love"

author comment

They are who you are as a poet. I just want to see you stretch. I need a link to Ageless Love or maybe I'll check out your profile.
As to the poem I meant any kind of love poem (I hate the things which is why I chose it as the dare).
I've written one and need the challenge and I'm sick to death of not hearing different from you. Although your stuff in the collaborative was cool. Don't be in a hurry. I can't be because of business and now our workshops.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

hit search then type in title.If you want to see something REALLY different, type in" inheritors and benefactor"

author comment
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