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"To Sleep"

Sleep deep within the folds,
of a million butterfly wings.
Walk with me through,
gates of meadows green

Come lay by my side,
look to the stars
There the vastness of space,
we can fill with such lovely things.

A whisper from one love,
that’s memory.
Is vivid in your mind to echo,
to echo through crystal halls

To say I love you,
over and over again.
Walk within those halls,
call the names.

Of those that you love,
or have loved
They will echo,
to tell you that they

Are just passing,
not lost in eternity
Paint your rainbow portraits,
with crystal glass.

Hold faces of friends,
there in colourful hues
Let not one shape,
be lost in dreams.

There we can see,
more clearly than in reality.
Run with the streams,
of energy flows.

This way and that,
to take your spirit so.
Be whole with the passage,
of time in dreams.

Take to yourself,
the visions of youth.
Fill the canyons of your mind,
with laughter.

Taken not from maybe times,
but times when worlds stood still
To say I am here,
it’s so lovely to be with you.

Take with your dreams,
the flowers of fun.
There they are,
with fragrances new.

To touch with your soul,
to feel their beauty.
Feel also the perfume that melts,
in the corners of your soul.

Bringing with it the touch,
of velvet joy.
To awaken the feelings,
of being one.

Of being one,
with the world around you.
Cling now with wings of softness,
to the sleep that brought you there.

Carefully release your touch,
on sleeping times.
Keep in mind,
that there are places to be.

Places that are as free,
as each wave in the sea, for you.
For you to rest, yes rest with me
In this a sleep of eternity

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Short lines long piece lol Just right to fill a space in time
Editing stage: 

Comments

As one who loves to study the definitions of Greek and Hebrew words using lexicons, dictionaries, and Greek or Hebrew texts, I sometimes write blogposts by digging into different verses. I'm used to seeing the Greek/Hebrew words. However, this seems to be more academic and I don't believe the normal reader would pick this up. At least, not in its current form. I think the copy editor was correct.

Although, if you are shooting more for the academic group, I'm sure leaving it this way would be fine. This is a huge undertaking and I certainly don't wish to be a negative influence. I would consider the general Christian's knowledge and desire to read this. I wish you well in this. You've taken on deep work

Mario Vitale

Just another write from my pen as I filter thoughts of many things..
As far as Christians are concerned my leanings are varied and more to the Spiritual ways of being, this also applies to any religion that holds sway over others, to where they are indoctrinated into a false sense of being.
All people can believe what they wish, as long as it is fruitful to the furtherment of bringing a state of being above the one we have here.
Teach a gentleness to a giant, then ask yourself is it not the ones that are not giants that need to be taught gentleness.
I have had a wonderful life, and in this autumn of my years reaching close to winter now, I have much wisdom to pull on
Then in the last few years, I had a few hours talks with some children I know, the pathway I was travelling seemed to be smoother and the ability to advise became easier.
I really should become a hermit now and then only those that wish would come talk to me, but I have told the children and their teachers that I will help them and write up the things I have learned.
Facets and more facets of being, glisten in realisation that there is a hard task ahead, how to complete this task is within me but I have to search for the correct way of expressing it to others.
Sounds like a madness but as you said the task is huge, so one such as me will muddle on as best I can..
You take care out there and know we walk the same pathway..
Yours as always Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

I continue to snore
till yore

when your poem is over
do wake me
that alone is my cure
of inevitable riverine snore

Sleep on young Bard, but be careful you don't miss all those way points to show you that your journey has been worth it lol xx

Yours Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

journey has been worth it lol

it's still onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

it takes its time, is very gentle, and expresses an elegance of death very nicely.
It has the feel of the Pre-Raphaelites, especially Rossetti.
The poem is telling us how to live and accept death without being preachy or sentimental while being directed to a beloved. (And thank god GOD is not in there.)
You are dealing with known cliche's but nicely without being trite or cliche.
Good for you.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thank you for your visit.
No there is no reason to mention a god, or any other deity, in the love of your fellow man, and the continuation of your journey here, or on the other side, do we need to blame or praise a being.
I cannot tell others who or what to believe, the humon response is to control others by fear or pretence that they will come to no good if they don't conform.
It is a pity that the energy and unconditional love that some I know, has been suppressed by ages of control and greed, if only we could learn to be at one with ourselves..
Thanks again,
Yours Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

there are many "teachers" with convincing opinions on the subject. Mine is Krishnamurti, a simply honest man listening to his mind. Your poem shares many of his basic ideas that you have presented in this poem.
If you do not know him, check him out, you will find his conversations are unique and engaging.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

This is a very intriguing piece, and I would love to know more of your thoughts within this, if you can share. I appreciate your work.

Mario Vitale

I spent a few years talking to some children of which I recorded hours of the talks.
There is no way I can say where those children are, but that they channelled through my wife, and she has no recollection of any of the 200 hours of talking what can I say.
They taught me of their ways and the way to think in another place, so I think this can be used as an inspiration to some of my writes, even to the point of them helping me at the time of writing many pieces.

One day they may say that the old fool was demented, but who cares, as long as the effect the writes have on some are good things to have.
I believe there is a place we all go to, our soul beings that is, where we have to answer to ourselves about all the things we did here while in a physical form.
As you or someone said, there is no mention of a God in this or most of my similar writes, and as I will reply we are all striving for perfection, and though there are many different levels to transit before that place or what it is we are striving for.
Well some of the ones that have spoken to me and that are nearer that place, well the beauty and peace they give out seems to fill you up.
This will do for today it is Sunday and much to do, it is a day where I remember my Father and his Brothers clearer as they fought in that war to end wars..
Take care and go well always, Yours Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

From our times spent conversing here over the years I think this is much more that just the "filler" you suggest.I think it is your actual philosophy is simple straightforward words......stan

As always you read much into my writing and as you say, we know each other after all these years.
I cannot hide the feelings that float around the pieces I write.
Take care young woodsman and know it is great to walk with you,
Yours as always Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment
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