Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

To Sing With My Father Again

Submitted by docmaverick on Thu, 2012-09-13 14:06

I heard a song yesterday
so familiar to me
took me home to a place way back when,
the melody was strong
and I just sang along;
it took me back to my father again.

I remembered we'd sing
as we rode in the car
sometimes we would sing it again;
we made the choices
as we blended our voices;
I'd like to sing with my father again.

As we'd sing with each other
we'd harmonize, too
we'd end one and the next would begin;
I was but a boy
filled with such joy;
wish I could sing with my father again.

We'd sing accapella
sometimes trading parts
as everyone else would listen;
it was back in the day
we'd sing all the way;
be good to sing with my father again.

When I heard that song yesterday
I listened real close
and you won't believe what did happen;
I heard it so clear
my dad's voice in my ear;
and I was singing with my father again!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Search

Fri, 2012-09-14 00:38

Search's picture

The way I see it, real poetry doesn't come from putting some rhymes and stanzas together in a specific style or metrical structure. The way I see it, true poems are created from emotion, imagination, and history, our own history. Often times we display our poetry without even picking up a pen, it is the emotion that we show which carries on with whoever hears our words. That's probably why I dislike criticizing peoples poems, because if I do, I feel like I have trampled on their soul, their history. What I just read here, is one of the many works in a world of true poetry. I see real poetry, because I see emotion, and I see your history. So I will not say that I love or hate it, but I shall always remember it and I can feel what you wanted your audience to feel.

docmaverick

Fri, 2012-09-14 01:06

docmaverick's picture

...that was very generously, and most eloquently stated; and I thank you. You're very right, you know. For had you hated it, it wouldn't have stood as long as you had most eloquently stated!
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

docmaverick

Fri, 2012-09-14 09:38

docmaverick's picture

...this WAS a very emotional piece for me. You're right, again.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.