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The Silence of Solstice

In the dark, cold air of Winter
the shadows play games for so long,

each breath of air so sufficiently crisp
can freeze the words to Winter's, cold song.

This chilly breath escapes the season's
lips, when Solstice is here;

and the season exhales a meloncholy
that whispers in every ear;

which reminds us that another one
has joined the others, as did the last;

the season's chill cannot keep still
until the year officially enters the past.

Our annual regrets soon fade away, too
because the Winter refuses to sing,

and there's nothing that anybody can say
until we're given the lyrics of Spring !

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
After my freeform effort: Shadows in the Wind; I thought I'd even things with a poetic effort for Winter that rhymed.
Editing stage: 

Comments

This was good and clean , flowed well and was very likeable..
Yours, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

...are even MORE than equally as likeable. I also,appreciated your thoughts on my other poem, as well.
Sincereliest as can be;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

Melancholy needs changing otherwise well expressed

The Winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere is September 23 or very near.
It is when the sun is over the Equator on its way South the day and night have the same hours.
Then it sits over head at the tropic of Capricorn on our mid Winters shortest day. 21st December
Then back again for our Spring Equinox 25th March (Lady day)
Arriving overhead at the tropic of Cancer 22nd of June for our mid Summer and longest day
This is due to the Earth being tilted at an angle so when we travel around the sun each year we have the four seasons.
These days were called the Quarter days, when all bills had to be paid, and there is a lot of history around those times, we still have the odd Tythe Barn where on those days you had to go pay 10% of your income as a tythe to run the country, Anyway that will do for now,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

...and you are quite right. I wrote a thesis in college and, long after Christ had walked the earth; it seems a certain King wanted to take the wind out of the pagan solstice's celebration's sails, by announcing that THAT was when Jesus was born.....when really, it was the other way, around. He had to be crucified in Winter, not born.
Thanx, for that;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

lovely much enjoyed x

...I really appreciate your taking the time BOTH , to read, & comment.
Really,
thanx, for that;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

The rhythm and flow in this one is wonderful I cant see anything I would change ... I love those closing lines they just wrap it up perfectly

Our annual regrets soon fade away, too
because the Winter refuses to sing,

and there's nothing that anybody can say
until we're given the lyrics of Spring !

well done

love Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

...that's "why" I treasure you like I do......your penchance to "cut to the chase"! (Pardon me...but, I don't believe I spelled that...right.)
At any rate,
thanx;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

sometimes its nice to be appreciated thanks Doc

love and hugs Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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