absolutely love this doc
I just think the scansion and rhythm needs a tad work
here are my suggestions

Cellophane moonbeams play haoc with eyes (typo - havoc)
as the shadows eat daylight all gone; ,,,, I absolutely love this line
step further inside, it's the truth we can't hide
place your baggage out front on the lawn.
A dry leather jacket with pockets sewn shut
we've all fallen short and have sinned;
memories turn billowy before they all fade (memories turn billowy, then they all fade)
let's pay tribute to their escort, the wind. (let's tribute their escort, the wind)
Teared laughter echoes, coercing the night (scansion out with ‘teared laughter echoes
suggest something like ‘Teared laughter resounds’)
to "chill up" on the back of my neck; (and "chills up" the back of my neck;)
No-one came with me, I'm beside myself
with too much to lose on this trek.
Don't be surprised should a fragrance waft in
and confuse both your heart, and your mind;
just be who you are and be mindful of self
you're the leading authority we could find. (as the greatest authority that you can find.)
Tempt me not, early vagabond; I'll choose not your gold (way too long doc…)
mourn in private, but it makes little sense; (mourning privately makes little sense)
time is too short so, don't whittle her down
and be careful, if riding the fence!
Softly off in far distance, the moon is allowed
to show each of night's stars flying, high; (to show each night star flying, high)
before the dew's been watered, the shadows run free (before the dew's watered, the shadows run free)
their most difficult chore's....but, to sigh.
awesome finish

hope this help’s
I absolutely like this more and more, the more I read it
love judy xxx