Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Same Blood

same blood
different bodies

same air
different lungs

same truth
violent contradictions

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

First time to meet so let me welcome you.
A succinct eloquent writing.
I however would modify the title as "Same and yet different"
Just my humble opinion.
Thank you for sharing!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Really great to meet you and thanks for taking the time to read my poem
I shall contemplate your suggestion
;)

author comment

I might suggest "same blood type" as opposed to same blood, which makes it sound like what it suggests, sharing the same blood like in transfusion.

But in a short work like this you have said a lot. Truth is truth, we share the same truths, but we sure don't interpret them the same!
Well conceived!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thanks for your comment and compliment Mark …..Very appreciated
Same blood evoked family i.e. family of man; all of us human ;)

author comment

Ha!
You wrote another great poem.
You achiving here a tone that makes your reader feel that you talk directly to him/her.
That goes to Instagram post when I am back to my desktop.

IRiz

Thank you very very ;)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.