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Ring the Gong

Plagued by existence
Treat life like a privilege
So easily taken away

Faced by resistance
We Socially Distant
Asked God what to do with the pain

Now I’m being showered
Category 5
Like a hatred hurricane...

I was looking for consolation
Mixing up
The combinations

So I looked to the stars
They told me...

Its a nation been left ajar
Hearing bout a man
Shot and killed inside his car

You know its crazy
You go outside
You gotta stop
Think about what the risks are
If you run into the cops

Them opps at the donut shop

I ain’t saying they all bad
I’m just stating the issues
We know that we’ve all had

Will they fall back
When they called back
Will they haul back
A man on a sprawled back
Bout time that we fought back

And it’s not all black
It's not all white
See a power we could use
Is a little bit of foresight
It’s not alright
But it ain’t all wrong
We’ll be back on corona before long
And it’ll be no point behind this whole song

SO RING THE GONG
Let your loved ones know
Bout what’s been going on
All along
And bring up your children
With a good sense of right and wrong.
If we just do these things
We can't go wrong
Ring the gong.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
The beginning seems a little strange, but keep going further in. Some of the language here isn't exactly dressed in a Crisp Tuxedo. I kept it clean. And its about the stuff going on in the U.S. today. Crisp. Clean. Precise.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

A huge welcome to neopoet,

I like this very much, it almost sounds like a song maybe it could even be a rap?
I like your theme, I do not live in the USA so I cannot know as much as you, the world however is hopefully changing for the better, and your last stanza proves it.

I cannot believe you are 13 what skills and bravery you hold already! It cannot be easy to write this type of poem. Well done for making a difference

Ring the gong is a great title it means let's call time!

Thank you...Teddy

"And it'll be no point behind this whole song." I pray that doesn't happen, too. Strong voice, strong poem.
Thank you,
Lavender

your work makes sense it follows a beat sound like rap but the wording is well done

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

Hello and welcome to Neopoet. I hope you'll be happy with this family of poets. I like your title and content. These things have to be said and we must all fight for a better world, hopefully thru' peaceful means. I agree that your verses could be set to rap. If you write like this at 13 years of age, you'll be famous at a young age.
So glad to have you with us, all the best, Gracy

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Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

I've seen those things more than a few times. It's a fact of life that I'm hopeful can be changed. Raise your children right and try to make this a better world. More than one parent I know, has let their children run wild; with the excuse that life has dealt them a shitty hand, so why shouldn't they act out? For someone that is only thirteen, you seem to understand that you can make a better world if you try. i wish that more Rap artists would show the maturity that you have at your age and instead of espousing anger and violence; turn their efforts into making the world better. ~ Geezer.
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