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Respect/Love
I'm looking for a feeling of deep admiration;
For something elicited by it's elation.
Not misguided, thinking it's better to be feared
Than to be appreciated and then endeared;
Not exactly in that order. As long as it's placed
As the center of what is the immaterial.
The actuating cause of my being; of my overseeing
My acute, distraught mentality; my lucid faults
Accented with the faculty for asking for what I lost.
Can I have your respect and love?
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Fri, 2016-12-09 09:41
Wow, lovely language use
This could have sounded plaintiff and weak,
instead, because of the prosodic qualities it read as a strong human need.
My best comment is to offer you my reading.
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/respect-love-by-jzarmel
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
jzarmel
Fri, 2016-12-09 18:09
I'm glad that enjoyed the
I'm glad that enjoyed the write. Your comment helped open my eyes to a somewhat new approach to my poetry. Thank you.
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