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THE RESCUE (Feb.Contest)

For years and years
the reaper stayed far from me
I'd clear forgotten his sharp scythe
and the pain its sharp edge left behind
but then....

Three short years
six visitations
all loved ones held dear
harvested by death
making up lost time.

Numbness
I was cursed
dangerous to be around
dangerous to love
dangerous to be loved by
self imposed pariah
numb to pain and love

Empty of too many memories
people who'd add no more to memory's store
Retreat from the world
remote to those still left
for too many rainy days

But naught endures
not even this
and there Were those still left
who kept tossing life lines
at last seized
by this hollow man

Life lines
which finally dragged me back
with their palpable love
into the world of life
and sunshine

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Alright, alright. I know this ain't much but then free verse ain't my forte either lol
Editing stage: 

Comments

I beg to differ! You have painted a portrait of a man afraid to love and of being loved. We don't wish to lose those we love to the great beyond, for that is a pain that people try to avoid and hope to never feel. And so, we try hard to be detached from the rest of the world, avoiding the loss. There are those of us that decide that misery does not like company and we will throw out the life lines and yell for you to hold on; we will pull you back to the land of hearts and the tea party going on! ~ Gee.
.

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So even a rhymer can occasionally stumble around and write a decent free verse huh? I appreciate your feed back and kind words........stan

author comment

As Steve Austin would say! ~ Gee.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Thank you

author comment

I felt this was a bit of a slapping session... The lines felt harsh, not in a bad way, I mean hard hitting-ish. It may be because I had similar 4 year period in my early 20's when almost every one I loved deeply died, including my partner, my nephew, my best friend, & my partner's dad who was like the only dad I had. You describe very clearly so many of the exact ways I experienced life for the following 7 years or so. I am needing to go & read some of your other works if you feel that Prose isn't your forte. I feel too out of practice again to actually criticise anything. I definitely feel this is effective as a piece that gets right to the point & hits you at the centre.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Let's see. You said you liked this poem and then pointed out some reasons why you liked it. That's critique . Critique does Not have to be negative nor does it Have to give alternatives. So just keep on reading and commenting to effect like you did here. Hope you and yours are doing OK......stan

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