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Released.

Never bolt anything down;
don’t brand it,clamp it,

Affix it to yourself, nor
claim it as your own.

The wind will blow it
astray in time.

The sand will cover it.
verdigris will creep and,

Rust which never sleeps,
Will eat it anyway.

Instead:
Polish it, preserve it,

Repair it, conserve it.
love it for a while, and,

If it’s fragile,
then mourn it should

It wither away.
We all succumb to some decay.

But of those precious thoughts,
we’re all concealing:

In moments of cleaning, raking,
sweeping and inner leaning,

Caressed by a healing sun
and touched by empathic breeze;

These golden times, when
some small thing, puts us at ease.

Do they too contract with us,
in the last consuming pyre?

Or are they, in that time
of inevitable fire, as birds...

Released.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
A piece I did for a radio show, and never got round to releasing it. Has been tweaked and mucked around with for a while, so thought i should give it an airing.
Editing stage: 

Comments

good stuff. but since you start with the word "Never", perhaps the "nor" in
"Affix it to yourself, nor
claim it as your own."

should be "or" instead.

Alid

Just testing..:) I elected to remove the "or" since it's in the negative, so to speak, I thinks it's valid. I will confess, I am no grammarian - but I'm trying to be a little more aware of it.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

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