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Rejection and You Saw It Coming

another tear to shine my guitar
another stitch to rip out of a scar
another regret i regret that i had
but it's all that i ever had left

another knife to cut out my soul
my heart's beating backwards, i'm out of control
and don't say you're sorry, sweet sorrow is crushing
you can't hear her cry over red river rushing

do me a favor and let me forget
unplug your phone and get out of my head
i never knew anyone could be too close
but sometimes your memories are what i miss most

talked for an hour, me and valentine
drowned from the inside, and out of my mind
missed for just the hour, i haven't gone yet
your sun dried me out but your tears were still wet

you love that sarcasm, behind it i'd hide
then you knew the truth and your eyes opened wide
without me you'd search and leave all behind
without you it feels like there's nothing to find.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
rejection sucks on valentine's day. but i'm good.
Editing stage: 

Comments

thoughts..

"Another tear to "star" my guitar
another stitch to rip out a scar
regrets I regret I kept
all that I had and all that I left"

"A knife to cut upon my soul
my backward heart
I'm out of control
Dont say your sorry
sweet sorry is crushing
can you hear her cry
over such a river rushing??"

Your poetry is your voice
your flow pace. Im just changing what
I want too here but I love the flow you
have also.....

Cannot resist to stop and leave my
version..

Thank You!

your version is always appreciated here and anywhere :) it is a little different, but isn't it the same?
thanks,
mag

author comment

remember? "There's dust on my guitat, you fuck and it's all your fault". Unaccountable and dis-empowering.

A simple edit would fix this.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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