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REFLECTION

When you see the moon
Come and take me by my hand
Walk us on the moonlit beach
Then sit us on the sand

Put your arms around me
And ask me what I see
I’ll say, the moon and its reflection
In the waves, upon the sea

You will tell me, I’m your moon
And so, forever will you be
My reflection in your heart
For what you mean to me

I will say, that’s why I love you
You make me glow at night
You will say, that’s why you love me
I am, the reflection from your light

BOEMS BY JA 510

Editing stage: 

Comments

wow. Overwhelming. I am talking about the last stanza:

"I will say, that’s why I love you
You make me glow at night
You will say, that’s why, you love me
I am, the reflection from your light"

It literally did take my breath away. If this is a rough draft, I can't wait to see a more polished version.
One thing - should it not be "You will say, that's why you love me", without the second comma?

Thank you so much for posting this on here. I just want to state again how powerful the last lines are - such a quiet truth that makes the soul shake.

 

Love,
Steph

... to remember what it felt like to have my being set alight
beneath the moon when I was full and I was dancing with the night
when I could see beyond my sight
when I could see beyond my sight

This piece is really beautiful...i love it, no complaints...just beautiful

woah this is good it just has the nice flow nd good meaning

love is intense of mind and you really got this,good work keep it flowing.

to make it fit the meter it needs a few less stresses.

I will say, that’s why I love you
You make me glow at night
You will say, that’s why you love me
I'm the reflection from your light.

See what I mean?

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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