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FOR THE RED DUST WHIRLWIND
Around about ten years ago
I took a chance upon the electronic sea
I casted a poem then watched it go
just to see what I would see.
It floated half way round the world
then washed up on a shark filled shore
where it was read as it unfurled
by folks I'd never seen before.
In that land of old red dust
as well as here and other places
it drifted around as all such must.
I thought it would vanish without traces.
To my surprise ya'll asked for more
and others gathered 'round to see
scribbles writ far from their shore.
Many then tried to help me.
Perhaps they thought I had the "touch"
(more likely they pitied me)
for although I'd not written much
they decided to see what I could be.
Then one day in the dusty land
a small whirlwind came along.
She stopped and took me by the hand
and said "good poetry flows like a song."
Thus I met the meter maid
and though I never heard her voice
nor saw her walk some flowered glade
we became friends as she helped me find my voice.
I would write and she would read
and patiently point out rhythm breaks
( did she grit teeth until her gums would bleed?")
Perhaps she taught for both our sakes.
And the years flowed on and on
me thinking they would never end
for didn't each night end in dawn?
I took for granted my good friend.
Until she showed up less and less.
Then she stopped visiting at all.
She'd tired of coming was my guess
weary of answering muse's call.
And now I hear Judy is gone
to wherever red dust whirlwinds go.
Her sun rising to a different dawn.
I understand but wish it wasn't so.
For my friend Judy
Comments
scribbler
Thu, 2020-07-02 20:41
thank you Ted
Were she still here she'd still be pointing out rhythm flaws in this one
Geezer
Thu, 2020-07-02 20:28
I'm sure that...
whatever shore that Red Dust Whirlwind has landed upon, she is certainly proud of this one in particular. I think that it is a testament to her great teaching that this is one of the best meters I've ever seen from you.
She will be greatly missed. Well done Stan. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Thu, 2020-07-02 20:43
Too
many of our best on site teachers have left. Who is here to replace their likes? Thank you for your kind words
scribbler
Fri, 2020-07-03 00:30
Yeah
but the problem is I use that in last line of stanza 5
jetz
Fri, 2020-07-03 12:54
FOR THE RED DUST WHIRLWIND
Hi Stan,
A wonderful tribute to a friend. It's been a number of years since I frequented Neo regularly. Judy was a regular at the time and a pleasure to interact with. I swear, each time I come in here now, another talented person has passed. Stop it people!
I'm sorry for you loss. Your poem is lovely Stan.
Sue
scribbler
Fri, 2020-07-03 13:51
Good to see you again
Yes we've lost a lot of people who were all the heart and soul of Neopoet. Who will replace them when it comes to poetic Knowledge?
Lavender
Fri, 2020-07-03 13:50
For the Red Dust Whirlwind
This is so beautiful, Stan, and I am sorry.
Thank you,
L
scribbler
Sat, 2020-07-04 10:04
Hi Ted
I appreciate and give consideration to all suggestions. But I often wait a while before making any changes so don't be discouraged if you don't see instant changes