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The Quintessential Homecoming (June Contest)


ancient pond --
the frog jumps in
sound of the water

my poem inspired by Basho's:


The sound of
A raindrop in water
Like finding kind
The quintessential homecoming story

It is the “fwooop!” of friendship
The serenade
That starts with surface tension
And ends in equal

It doesn’t have the hubris
Of a fish’s splash
The royal rumble
Of a river over rocks
Or the whisper of a walrus

It is lucid
Like a lover’s kiss
A tantalizing or tender touch
Like a saint meeting
The god of heaven
Or a wino the lip
Of his bottle

It is such a sweet embrace
The drop is willing
To evaporate
Die and rise
Travel a thousand miles from home

Close its teary eyes
And fly
Through amaranthine
Or cerulean skies

Only to try
It all over

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


I found this a very enjoyable read... I know others will argue it should shock, provoke, cause distaste... Not my opinion, I love pleasant poetry, especially if it is relatable as this one is . There are many tendrils of dangling mind-vines (sorry, that's how it felt ). & each had it's own vista & flavour. You could write this other ways, but I really like it as it is.


My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

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