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The quintessence of Autumn

Muddied rubber causes crisp shattered leaf spines;
as frigid air bites at exposed ears turned florid.
Whilst naked trees caress the air with animate arms,
relived of their conventional adornment of green.

Cameras capture the aesthetic of autumn weather,
as the scheming winds muss hair styles;
appropriating hats and summer in a bitter swipe,
but with more so mischief that malevolence.

Children resemble sentient laundry piles;
Being smothered by copious layers,
just like the gravel suffocating under inert leaves,
and the sun repressed by stubborn clouds :
masking its gift of warmth with bitter petulance.

Lady Autumn is the aged bark of the tallest tree,
The burnt orange and brown hues of brittle leaves.
She is the conversations round a fire in the dead of night:
The walks where the foliage shields you from light.

And she is that too, the light:
The suns irradiance behind clouds of off-white.
She is the song of the whispers in the wind,
yet the wolf-like howls in the night.

She is the collection of Conkers in old shopping bags:
The children dressed as ghosts, pumpkins and hags.
She is the bonfire and the dancing flames themselves,
She is the embodiment of a season and everything else.

I love Autumn because she is.
I long for her soothing breeze in summer,
and comforting fire in winter.
I wish for the sunset colours that spring lacks,
and I shall wait all year for her to come back.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Welcome to Neo. I like the imagery used here and hope that we see more of it. The title could be better. Your language use is great and also like the use of rhyme. I think you meant to use the word [than] rather than [that] in the sentence: "more mischief that malevolence" and would drop the word
[so] from the sentence. I always enjoy nature as a subject and feel that you did a good job of letting us know how it makes you feel. Nice work, ~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you! :) I was always rubbish at making titles! XD

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

perhaps a bit pretentious?
"Autumn Mine"
"Bits of Autumn"

apparently I am as rubbish as you at titles. Just brainstorming.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thank you for your guidance. I'm rubbish at making titles!! I think I will :)

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

I've always loved the hobbit, my height may have been a factor :)

Thank you for your advice and I've taken it onboard it flows much better now thanks!!

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

Firstly a great welcome to you, and I notice that your age is something I hold in some distant memory.
It will be good to have so much new energy here, and I would have said the simplicity of thought, but there you go with words and flow that I wish that I had captured many years ago..
Well great to see you Now I can get some Ideas on how to make my cave better lol, as Hobbit homes is so nice, Smeegle told it to me..
Take care great to have more from the UK,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Smeegle (sic) Sméagol, get it right you old fart.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Four letter words on a young ladies post how common, sorry, had never seen the name written down smiling away, I did it to annoy him he is so bad to my friend,
Yours as always, Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Hiya Bampy :) x
I may be growing older but I assure you my height is still lacking :P
Glad to be on here (finally) as well :)
You take also :P

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

Nice to see someone esle from Middle Earth here.

Extraordinary first first post, I look to many more.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Tolkien my favorite! :)
I hope for the rest to be similarly up to standards!!
Thanks for the feedback!

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

This is a voluntary, democratic site, so give to get.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

quintessential autumn dress...
dressage...apt descripts
amazing!!

only hitch i found but i could be wrong
would be to drop the "of" before "off white"
transits better in a flow...
as almost a comma..the short pause
other then that
its a beautiful poem
when our foliage is gone and the clairity
arrives the hills at dusk are violet
struck with gold..

Thank U!

Thank you, I am glad you liked it :) I agree and will be editing shortly!
Thanks

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment

Thank you, I am glad you liked it :) I agree and will be editing shortly!
Thanks

Not all those who wander are lost - JR Tolkien

- Tyjana :)

author comment
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