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A Quiet Sit

You did not see me standing at your side
I wouldn't talk as you were resting
That you had been crying as an oceans tide
Soft tears flowed that’s what called me in.

Now how do I start to heal these ills of yours?
There is no need for another physical being
This Spirit of mine reached out to your shores
Now I can deal with your disrupted feeling.

You are a creature that is sure of what to do
a point of focus a Mother so very strong
That others cannot understand the real you
Now you struggle but know where you belong

I shall settle your thoughts with a blanket of love
The warmth of a soft evening, leaving an afterglow
They are but a thought away, not from an above
There in the gentle rest of all the friends you know

To rest your mind leaving turmoil behind,
just think of those outside of what you see
I worry not as I talk to their gentle minds
It’s a gift from those that forever will be.

Two monks, one yours, one mine, and Sadie
they help us see and feel so many things
Just remember there are more than these three
There are a multitude of spiritual beings.

Each are mainly hidden from our view
Many are waiting to help us you know
Just think and they are there for you
A pond and one pebble, in the middle throw

Toss it into the waters silver glow
Let your thoughts follow the rings
from the centre wave on wave will grow
there you will find all spiritual things

The driving force of all things known
For ever where all roads will meet
An energy pattern you are never alone
The greatest place to put Granddads seat

There are stories that I have told to you
The children and the teachers that always learn
Of the children and all the things they do
I have to live here, but it is a place I yearn.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
1.Sorry this one is rough and I should give it a lot more thought before posting but comments will be great. 2. I have tidied it up a little but would love some suggestions as to how to make it better, Yours Ian.T
Editing stage: 

Comments

First read, the rhythm is rough. Theme is great as always. I would like to feel the ending tied up a little stronger. Kind of felt like it didn't have enough heart (for lack of a better word)

look forward to edits.

Scott

Scott

Thank you for your visit.
Yep the rythme is not good, and the whole thing was hurried, this is where I will need to Copy, Paste, and Edit the hole thing..
I write these on the odd time and just slap them on stream, I know I shouldn't but I was in a hurry.
I will let you know when I have had time to Edit this one it could make a reasonable piece.
Thanks again for your comment, it is valued, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

quiet and sit
IMPOSSIBLE
yes
E P I C U R I A L
AGAIN

loved

Got to agree with Ian, and i will wait until you've corrected. Definately deserves another read, as i think this could be very good. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

came back for another read. Lots smoother but I shall have to pay another visit to offer more cirque.

Scott

What a lovely journey you shared...I am not good at the technical stuff. I look at story and the message in the story. The children create such pleasant memories....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

We ... Ian and I ..
are trying to remove

the late- read stigma of poetry
as you can see ...
some poetry is left unseen
now a days for weeks ....

if you wish to be read
do read
another poet's creativity
please.
now do go and read older ones kindly
in the unseen gallery
A Neopoet's well wisher
lovedly

loved

I am late to this party but I felt like this could have been written for me, there are still a couple of rough spots but I am sure you will correct them when time permits, I am sitting here smiling that's just how the poem left me feeling its a beautiful piece and I think hurried or not it was coming from the right place

its been such a pleasure for me to be back reading everyone's poetry again I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed it.

love always JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

It takes but a thought to be there, standing in the light, as there is more energy in the light.
I just dropped in to make sure you were OK and to give healing personally, it has been hard for you, though the children are never unhappy when they bring any news lol.
I have been just waiting for you to become our Serendipity again,
"A pleasant surprise" A Happy accident, we have been walking this pathway for a few years now and there is so much to do, but the time is never an issue, we talk, we rest, we talk some more..
Love it..This is the first time that you have thought that my writing could be aimed at anyone yet there are others, maybe I hid the names to well lol.
Can you remember the one I wrote called the "Aussie Army" that was absolute. Two Years ago it was written, but there are a few more that are written for our JC as she has struggled with the physical being.
You take care and know that we are thinking of you,
Yours Ian.T and Friends

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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