Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Question Of If

If I sent you a dream
delivered on a moon beam
could you place it in a memory
or would it whither and die?

If I flew with silver wings
delivered on the western wind
could we meet where the coyote sings
or would the song fade and die?

If a wish was sent to where you are
delivered on a falling star
could you save it in your heart
or would it be denied and die?

But should I send you a tear
for every time I needed you near
then no beam,nor wish or song
could bring you to where I

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
* because Gracy hinted at what she like to hear from me lol. This was written for someone near and dear to me
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

You truly bring tears to my heart. A magnificent poem with the wonderment of hope. You are never too far I can promise you.

Thank you...Teddy

oh my . Thank you

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

good combination of hope and fear in this poem...i liked it..

raj (sublime_ocean)

thank you

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

I just cannot pass by this without leaving one thought that is knocking my brain. It's your title it's not powerful enough for such beauty within this write. I see it as something like
"silver wings" because you could both be on them the possibility of meeting either ways do you see what I mean? , anyway you know I come with the best intentions. And it's your beautiful poem.

Thank you...Teddy

yes I do see it let me think about a moe appropriate title then thanks for your thoughts on this

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

It's much stronger now. This is one of your very special ones!

Thank you...Teddy

I read this a few times in a row.
Each time I felt a bit more of my own forlorn relationships from the past projecting themselves upon your words.
Your words helped me feel my own emotions and I suppose then process them just a bit more. Thank you.

The last word.... "am" feels like it is entirely unnecessary. You hit us with "die" at the end of each stanza. It is your rule. We are in. Riding your rhythm. Perhaps leaving us with ,"could bring you to where I..." tells us everything we need to know? "Am" is so location based. "I" is the all encompassing you and everywhere you dwell in need of they. Also it could be emotionally clever to send off your readers of a poem titled "A Question of If" with a question and an if.

Great work. Cheers.

i see now where you are going with this
thank you for stopping by and lending your hand

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.