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The Proletarian Feeding Mantra

Submitted by Lamington on Wed, 2023-10-25 11:35

It's half past six and I'm starving;
The money's on the side;
I don't want quiche or salad -
I fancy something fried.
Dad will go and get it;
It's tasty, salty, hot:
We don't have to cook it;
You can buy it from the shop.

Good old Dad's back home,
The vinegar smells just great:
We tear open the steaming parcel
And spread the contents on a plate.
Forget your Indian takeaways
Or Chinese with fancy dips;
On Fridays only this will do:
Yummy Fish 'n Chips.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
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Last few words: 
For many years, fish and chips was the weekly treat for the poor of Britain. Now most fish and chip shops have gone and we can feast on Coquille St Jacques and Oysters.
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2023-10-25 11:58

Geezer's picture
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about the Fish and Chips shops. I rather like some of the fish fries and potato fries that you call chips. Yes, for a real treat, some hot fish and fries that my mother used to make! I like catsup and tartar sauce for them, but occasionally like to go with just vinegar and salt. Nicely done. ~ Geezer.
.

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Lamington

Thu, 2023-10-26 20:28

Lamington's picture

Ta for comment. The "poem" is a piss-take. Fish 'n chips are repulsive. i love your word "catsup" and must look it up online. It sounds horrid.

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2023-10-27 08:03

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that my comment wasn't the most comprehensive. I meant that I like fish n' chips and in a particular manner. Your poem brought me some enjoyment, and camaraderie which I presumed was the reason for the piece in the first place. However, now knowing that it was a "piss-take", I feel duped. Say lavee! I'm sure that you will find at least one of the recipes for "Catsup or Ketchup" to your taste, I am a big fan of it. Actually, "catsup" doesn't sound so horrid to me. Cats are very good when baked right. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Ruby Lord

Thu, 2023-10-26 11:33

Ruby Lord's picture

I did enjoy this, it was great in terms of rhyme and near rhyme and I liked the rhythm. I also loved the way you used a common occurrence to write a poem. Well done, loved it. Ruby :)

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