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A pristine day, a miraculous boon ( Euphonous English WS)

Submitted by Rula on Wed, 2022-11-09 01:18

A pristine day, busy and bright,
my spirit sinks in deep delight.
A spark of hope, a gift to muse,
A blessing that I loathe to lose,
The shaking golden rays of dawn shall shortly stay,
to announce the heavenly bless; a pristine day.

A miraculous boon; won't last,
Alas, this too shall die too fast.
Though I wish that good days to slow,
and more to flourish, more to grow
Fortunately the gloomy night shall shortly swoon
For new dawn announces a miraculous boon.

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

About the form: The Wrapped Refrain The Wrapped Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of 2 or more stanzas of 6 lines each; Meter: 8,8,8,8,12,12 and Rhyme Scheme: a,a,b,b,c,c. Refrain rule: In each stanza the first 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) in the first line must be the last 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) at the end of the last line. This is what wraps each stanza with a repeated refrain ...thus, the Wrapped Refrain. Optional: The first stanza refrain and last stanza refrain can be joined (or loosely joined) together for the title of the poem

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Rula

Wed, 2022-11-09 11:14

Hello Mark

Thank you very much for the time and the comment. I'm too happy to see that my pen hasn't dried yet after this long time.
I can't thank you enough for your effort to run this workshop so smoothly..
edits done re bless.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-11-09 06:41

Great job

Not only do I love the simplicity and beauty of the poem, but admire your ability to embrace and excel with new forms. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

Rula

Wed, 2022-11-09 11:01

Dear RB

Thank you dear for the kind visit and the comment.
Very much appreciate it.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2022-11-09 10:54

Yes...

I am amazed at your knowledge of poetic forms. Very nice job! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Rula

Wed, 2022-11-09 11:09