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Pressure fissure:
All political correctness
Needs to be evenly supplied
Else it becomes a pooled mess
For special lobbies misapplied
Lawmakers sadly and truly
Are just political zombies
Controlled not by voters duly
But at beck and call of lobbies
At times pressure is so intense
Legislators agonized squeals
Are perceived not as an offense
But partying gains on sweet deals
Can we rescue office bearers?
How can the system be repaired?
Answer is with the protesters
And public support is prepared.
Style / type:
Free verse
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
chevyvent
Tue, 2018-04-24 13:24
Short but sweet
Sweet like nectar fresh on a honeycomb.
Really great job well done.
Mario Vitale
OriginalRhyku
Tue, 2018-04-24 14:09
Mario
Thanks for your generous review.
author commentOriginalRhyku
Tue, 2018-04-24 23:06
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author commentchevyvent
Tue, 2018-04-24 14:57
Would have liked to see a little bit more but that's ok
If you have a part II to this piece I would be looking forward in reading it.
Mario Vitale
OriginalRhyku
Tue, 2018-04-24 23:38
Mario
Part 2, 3 and 4 by popular demand.
author commentweirdelf
Wed, 2018-04-25 02:25
FUCKIN ONYA MAN!
You have broken your prosodic chains which gives us hope we can break our political/ideological ones.
If you felt it this important to break from your usual form then I am truly, deeply touched. I'm not being ironic or sarcastic, I mean that.
Perfect last two lines-
Answer is with the protesters
And public support is prepared.
Through collective action we can even beat the godlike megacorporations.
Thank you for this, my friend.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
OriginalRhyku
Wed, 2018-04-25 04:52
Weirdelf
Truly appreciate your appreciation (the more traditional parts of the praise).
author comment