Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Prayer To My Destiny

My destiny!
My ever present,
invisible, invincible companion.
Wings like an eagle I ask of you.
So above the mount of haze
and beyond the cloudy sky
I could soar and nestle.

In the vale of haze
for a steep I ask of you,
to a plane higher than it's
baleful eyes.

My destiny , my feet ,
I implore you to hasten,
in the midst of gale of cruel fate,
to a tranquil plane of harmonious
solemnity with my heyday.

From this saturnine vale
for rescue to you I look.
My success, eclipse from the
dazzling ray of vague fate.

The death knell of cruel fate
I implore you to sound.
From the knit of fabric
of futility, unravel me.
And from the shock of blow
of bleakness absorb my fabric
till my heyday and till doomsday.
Amen.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

You bravely tackle all the Grand Themes with skill and intelligence.
Sometime our work can carry a stronger personal impact through humour,

Also "poetry is the art of compression of meaning".

I therefore challenge you to write one dirty limerick and one senryu.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Thank you so much Jess , I really appreciate your comment.I have only tried my hands on Haiku but I haven't done any senryu, I will try it out ,though I have done limericks once but I doubt if it complied with the required rules.Thanks again Jess.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.