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A Prayer

Submitted by Rula on Thu, 2012-06-28 01:41

 

Thanks God for gifting me a new day.

Thanks for lightening my way.

Thanks for keeping me alive

to work with others in life's hive.

Thanks for giving me the chance

to put in life more balance.

Thanks for a day so bright

that inspires to do the right.

Thanks God for gifting me

to help the poor and the needy.

Today I'll lighten others' way.

The way God has lightened my day.

 

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-06-28 01:44

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You can do better than Hallmark cards.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-06-28 01:44

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You can do better than Hallmark cards.
And you can claim responsibility for your own goodness.
Be accountable.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Rula

Thu, 2012-06-28 01:51

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Just a reminder for myself before reminding the others.
Honered to be visited by Mr. elf . It pleases me to know
you feel well again..Good morning sir!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
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author comment

judyanne

Fri, 2012-07-13 10:24

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this does nothing for me :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Rula

Fri, 2012-07-13 11:57

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If you don't need to say a prayer then this puts you equal to God.Anyway as I said it was a reminder for my self..Thanks anyway

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

judyanne

Fri, 2012-07-13 12:38

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didn't mean to offend you - there are prayers to god that are personal, and then there is poetry ....

i don't consider this to your form - jess had it when he called it 'hallmark' ...
and do be careful with your comments - just because i didn't get anything from this write doesn't mean i don't believe in prayer
xx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Rula

Fri, 2012-07-13 22:29

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Hi juddy
Sometimes I misunderstand you and so you do . I am sure this has much to do with the fact that I am not so familiar with some of your everyday expressions. There are of course dictionaries to look up the difficult words but unfortunately not for these daily expressions. The fact that English is a second language for me and that I never been in direct exposition to natives makes some of the words or phrases heavy on me. So as you see it is neither your fault nor mine.. So may be I need to be more careful and the other side to be more considerate and take this point into account so there shall be no misunderstanding in the future
thanks for bearing with me and my writing..Always appreciate your time.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

judyanne

Sat, 2012-07-14 00:29

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yes rula - accurate interpretation can be difficult when communiction is only written... little nuances such as tone of voice and facial expression/ body language are not conveyed, and these are elements essential to good two-way communication - words on their own only express a third (if that) of the intended meaning...

and too, as you say, colloquialisms can be confusing.
just remember that i never mean offense with my comments - they are always given with the best interests of the poet at heart

love and hugs
judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Ian.T

Sat, 2012-07-14 04:12

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A prayer in any form to put before poetic people is a risk..
Many in poetry have their own interpretation of a God, or even a lack of one according to what they have been through in life..
A lot of my works are very borderline, as I sometimes become engrossed in another world, that is pleasing to me but then I forget that there are many others that have been to another hell and back or are in a hell at this time.
Therefore it is the old saying don't talk about Politics or Religion when in a group as it is so scattered and raises many temperatures lol.
Your Prayer is good, and I hope that you have found that those words are good for you, Take care young Lady, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Rula

Sat, 2012-07-14 04:26

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This is what I thought since the very first reply to those few reminding lines. I'll remember those words always, "no politics and no religion" otherwise the site shall suffer high fever lol ..Thanks for bringing this into my attention and for the kind comment of course.Much appreciate your honesty.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Ian.T

Sat, 2012-07-14 04:50

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Lovely to see that you are OK with my reply to yours and the others comments..
With you having English as a second language, it would be lovely if there was a way of transposing a lot of the flow of feelings you have to others, as you do most times, if only we could think as others sometimes.
I found many years ago, when with a young lady from the far East, that her way of seeing and thinking was so beautiful, I taught her how not to kick rocks and she taught me that inner peace, which to this day has become my own way of thinking.
There are so many ways of seeing things, I showed her the inside of stones at a local museum where the crystals sing out the sound of the universe.
Then she taught me that inside of us, there is an absolute peace which drives all the feelings, then with other influences I have come to see/feel after this meeting then I am here as me. I wonder sometimes should I seek out anything that would bring more to my Peace, the continuous struggle of man springs to mind, take care young lady and keep those thoughts finding a room in our hearts, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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