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The People... [Primal poetry Workshop]

Rhythmic rattles and soft the drums
The whistles of our shamans
Grey ghosts sitting horseback in the fog

The buffalo drift silent across the plain
Voices of the brother wolves
Singing praises of the Father

Dancing of the maidens calling the Mother
From whom all blessings flow
Asking for the harvest of the land to be rich

The children are full of laughter
Uncle stories of foolishness
The Old Shaman tales of the trickster fox

Proud to be the keepers of the land
Proud to be free and want for nothing
Proud to share with the animals

Stand watch and see the world sleep
From flickering flame to embers
The swooping owl takes dreams to the Father

The stars and the moon light our way
Through the seasons we live
Thanking the Mother and the Father

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

I would like to see stage one poems with as little interpretation as possible, just recounting the imagery.
There is a reason for this, it is not to do with me controlling the workshop [smiles], it is to do with you learning to 'let go' to gain the greatest possible insight from the trance experience.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

What a great recollection of Native American Shamanism. You can feel the peace that vision brought.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I do see what Jess is talking about though, I think I did better in phase II. ~ Gee.
.

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