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In For A Penny (Acrostic Contest)

In art for my Father, in politics too
Nothing contrived, could ever be true

Forms that shackled, words that stopped
Only served as the clumsiest props
Real expression, should it be coaxed

Arrived like a breath, not forced by a choke

Perhaps, we need to sit and be patient
Expecting too much from a world so ancient
Nascent art, like life, will grow
Near to the rivulet pens that flow,
Year upon year, inscribed, patient, slow.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
OK I know this doesn't use the key words, raven, storm, berries etc. - but I wanted to throw my hat in the ring for an Acrostic poem anyway, so - " In for a penny" :)
Editing stage: 

Comments

I am sure you can come up with something to meet the contest requirements, then you can replace it with this one. You still have the time ahead. Think about it.
Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I jumped in a bit early, with much enthusiasm, then retrospectively "bolted on" another stanza at the end which met the criteria, but it was, clumsy and too contrived, so i dropped it. i will try and do a re-write within the rules soon..

Thanks for checking it out anyway.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

Nicely written

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

I'll have another go and actually read the rules this time!

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

It reads so smoothly and the rhyme is great

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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