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Peace on earth starts in our hearts.

Let us flags of peace hoist
Across every land, hill and coast.
Warlords sheath your war maces
Sing peace songs, cling in embrace.

Hate, wars made earth a labyrinth .
bliss, joy retracted into myth.
Peace again must reign on earth ,
for us all to bask in mirth.

Blast the horn make it known
to all, peace on earth must dawn.
Don't ever relent in delusory
that peace on earth is illusory.

In every heart let there be a lake
of love flowing without a dike.
Let love be in our hearts as a verdant cape
across the earth let its lushness drape.

I see a peaceful coexistence,
void of racism and prejudice.
This though long had been foretold,
but our hearts remain the threshold.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Peace on earth we all should want
But it does seem to mankind haunt
Your plea does beg our hearts to act
I hope it helps us to react

Thank you for your thoughts

It will definitely Ja Ja , because peace and bliss are much more than enough reasons for hearts to react to the pleas.Thanks so much Ja Ja for stopping by, I really appreciate.

author comment

except the
lake and dike part
You may review if you wish to
Marvel G

Thank you so much Lovedly, I appreciate your stopping by and happy to know you found it nice. I will look into your suggestion.

author comment

It might be a little awkward, but for a perfect rhyme you could replace lake/dike with "strait" and "floodgate". Or you could do "estuary", "tributary", or "sea" and "levee"

Just a thought. Good suggestion, Lovedly.

Kelsey

Advocates Coordinator

Critique, don't comment.

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Thank you so much swamp-Witch, I really appreciate your suggestions.

author comment

the call for peace has been a consistent beg for mankind nowadays, I still reminiscence in Africa before the colonial era how peaceful Africa was, though am not blaming colonization for the problem of our peace in Africa today since we are benefiting from it, peace is a joint project which everyone must find a priority to maintain.

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

Chiori I really doubt if the presence of colonial masters brought about chaos in Africa, because there were series of tribal wars on record before the colonial masters arrival.Well I think we all should keep sounding the horn until everyone on earth knows that peace on earth is obtainable. Thanks Chiori for stopping by,i really appreciate.

author comment

I see you seem to be stuck in rhyme.
Rhyme is the easiest but least of the poetic tools in your tool kit. Especially rhyming couplets, AABBCCDD. Remember there are other tools for rhyme, like ABAB CDCD and ABBA CDDC, also sound based forms like assonance and consonance. Above all is meter.. Nothing contributes to the musicality of poetry than meter.

I challenge you to choose a a metric form and write a poem entirely without rhyme

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Yes Jess, rhyme actually is the easiest for me .I will sure try out your suggestion, I think it will really but nice. Thanks Jess.

author comment
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