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PATCHWORK QUILT--second update

Submitted by Geremia on Mon, 2012-09-03 10:39

PATCHWORK QUILT

colors fading
into grey
edges frayed
and stitches torn
to undone
no use to anyone
pieces old and worn
good to clean up.
metamorphsis into rag
then to ashes
then to dust.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Mon, 2012-09-03 18:16

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This struck me in an unexpected way. I still think of myself mentally as about 20, but old and frayed as I am, I can still keep someone warm.

You bastard! You made me confront my own physical aging. A perfect allegory.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Geremia

Mon, 2012-09-03 19:12

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How good are you at math ? I was born October 19, 1942, You're just a kid, buddy-boy. :)

P.S. I still don't like the ending of the poem.

Joe

P.S. P.S. That is a recent photo, ya'll .Damn if I don't beat all !

ya'll is southern American for "you all."

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Ian.T

Mon, 2012-09-03 18:34

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Maybe that is the only thing old people can do no matter how frayed they are they still have the ability to keep someone warm in both physical and in thoughts,
Yours Ian.T
PS:- one small typo Warn instead of Worn Line 5
And I liked the piece being a little older than Jess at 25 LOL

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Mon, 2012-09-03 19:03

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Ian, yee be a wee older than me, laddy. :0

will fix typo

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scribbler

Mon, 2012-09-03 23:41

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We old frayed folks are the most comfortable to snuggle up with. Now if I can just remember Why snuggling is good.................................lol.............stan

Ian.T

Tue, 2012-09-04 02:49

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I tore my old dictionary up when I got to the "F" word so whats this Snuggle thing ???? Yours Ian.E

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Tue, 2012-09-04 04:58

Geremia's picture

You knw the old sayn, Stan: "There may be snow on the roof, but the fire still burns insde."

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weirdelf

Tue, 2012-09-04 05:51

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it still keeps you warm.
perhaps
it could still keep you warm.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Geremia

Tue, 2012-09-04 08:14

Geremia's picture

Yes, I may just eliminate it.

thanks,kid :)

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