Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Parsing Personalized Patriotism:
What is true measure of a Patriot?
Marching and saluting an unfurled flag?
Cheering the fevered partisan riot?
Hounding one due to tagging by a rag?
Strongly supporting the right to differ
Holding our government accountable
Accepting good in opponent offer
Helping plans for nation to be stable
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Breakinglogic
Sat, 2018-08-25 03:08
I'm the biggest sucker for
I'm the biggest sucker for alliteration so I enjoyed your title.
I liked the direction of ideas in the first stanza. I think, in terms of parsing, there is room to expound on each of those components, perhaps, for example, by using each as the first line of it's own stanza.
The second stanza seems to take a slight thematic turn, moving away from breaking down and talking about different types of personalized patriotism and instead seeming to advocate for the ideas listed.
On a last note, in the last line, the word "society" might better be replaced by a word like nation in order to better serve the theme of patriotism.
☆ raffy
OriginalRhyku
Sat, 2018-08-25 18:29
Raffy
The society is now the nation - I liked your suggestion. As for your other suggestion, I have to come up with the poetic content to convert each idea in the current verse into its own quatrain but will do so once I get the inspiration.
Appreciate your constructive review.
author comment