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#Palestine

"On the other side
of the river
the grass is greener."

I wonder though,
the cattle are less happy,
and so is the sky.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I just wonder how much my reader could get out of this without me explaining. I think the title might give a hint as titles should.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I just love what you are doing here,

The grass is never greener, in reality you can move a thousand miles and more and still see the same people and have the same problems in life. I hope you are on the better side of the grass in Palestine sweet Rula, if that's even possible?
You are trying to say the sky is sad as in blue? I would use grey it gives it more darkness but I see you have rhymed it! So maybe wait for some more ideas

Thank you...Teddy

I'll keep the grey color in mind for a more dark mood.
Thank you!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I wonder though,
the cattle are less happy,
the sky too~
It's blue

So the cows are sad but the sky is what we are all under so therefore blue? As in the colour? As hope?

Thank you...Teddy

Perhaps should be the herd? I wanted the people who live there under the occupation.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I think cattle works well.

Thank you...Teddy

The sky and the people are under occupation, so sadness is the general mood there.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Now it's clear. Thank you for your patients! I can explain that blue sky is generally used in positive light that's why. Blu have you thought of using without the (e) Just a Thought

Thank you...Teddy

I think changing to gray is more accurate I believe.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

It's a play on the word so it is blu but without the e so there is a defect,like the sky in the poem ask someone cleverer than me but it could work. Then it's powerful. It's up to you it's your poem

Thank you...Teddy

the play of words, but then I fear that the reader would think it a typo.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I agree, but if you don't try you will never know, I think the more we.stretch our comfort zone the more we learn about ourselves. But I do see what you mean. You have to be comfortable with your poetry.

Thank you...Teddy

Knowing that I live in Jordan (on the other side of Jordan river) does that help understanding in any way?
You are not far though.
Thanks for your everlasting encouraging words dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Jordan, it's a great place for olive trees and Cyprus's if I'm not mistaken?

Thank you...Teddy

Jordan is well known for the best olive trees and olive oil, so you're totally right dear Teddy but this is just part of the story.
I thank you truely.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I so appreciate you have the best olives and oil, I live in Tuscany, we are both surrounded by the most valued scenery.

Thank you...Teddy

Is well known for olives.. I believe!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

thinking, that you have seen the cattle on the 'other side' and don't think that the grass is any greener or the sky any bluer. ~ Geezer.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Things to admit,
First, this little piece is born as a result of the title workshop. I found out that titles could inspire real poems.

Second, Jordan and Palestine were one land with only river Jordan to separate them, but the fact that Palestine is greener is true, it's soil is more fertile.

Third, the cattle here represnts the people of Palestine,
and they're unhappy as well as the sky all because of the occupation.

Hope I make it clearer.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

know that in fact, Palestine is greener! That notion did not even enter into my mind. Yes, it is clearer now. Thank you, ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

the flu lol

Why?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Not blue or less blue work better?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I would use this or something along this
(And so is the sky)

Thank you...Teddy

I think this clears the confusion dear Teddy!
Can't thank you enough for keeping me on the right track!
Appreciate your help dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

That's it! Wonderful and so clear now.
It was my pleasure working with you! Anytime!!!

Thank you...Teddy

for the echooooo

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

...Palestine is denied statehood and decency by the Israelites and their American stooges.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

Never enough to feel sorry.
Palestinian never stop fighting for their freedom.
Thank you for reading and the sympathy though.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

...need a good THRASHING.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

Liked thee verses...

be well...take best care...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you! I am so happy to see you on my page.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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author comment
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