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Outcast

Anxiously gazing around the room I can't help but realize everybody is bonding, everybody but ME,
But it's nothing I'm new to it's always a new day the same story hoping people will start seeing me differently.
I can't help but overhear everyone's thoughts about me
shall I say they are so quick to judge?
They've never cared to actually get to know me or my personal story.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

A very warm welcome to neopoet.

combined with your pen name and title of your first poem,
i can definately reasure you that you are not invisable nor are you alone!

I think you are very very brave to write this, as it is obviously very important to you.

Here i have done a small edit, i hope you like it.
I have arranged your lovely poem into stanza's to make it hopefully better? this is a workshop so we are all here to help eachother.

Anxiously gazing around the room
I can't help but realize everybody is bonding,
everybody but ME,

But it's nothing I'm new to
it's always a new day
the same story,

hoping people will start seeing me differently.
I can't help but overhear
everyone's thoughts about me

shall I say they are so quick to judge?

They've never cared to actually get to know me,
or my personal story.

Take care young poet!

Thank you...Teddy

Welcome to Neopoet family, Mia. I hope you feel comfortable here. You're certainly not invisible to us, trouble is that there are so many posts that I only saw yours now.
I agree with Teddy about tidying up your verses a little. The theme is obviously very impórtant to you on a personal level. Perhaps you've had some life experiences that made you feel left out? The last line says that nobody has cared about your personal story. Maybe you can write a poem about yourself. Or use 3rd. person.
I wish you well and hope you'll integrate soon. All the best, Gracy

"They've never cared to actually get to know me or my personal story."

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

...is a nice large glass of wine.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

I agree with Teddy and Gracy's comments in toto, so don't feel alone In fact Teddy has also recommended some small changes you need to make..

Cheers!

raj (sublime_ocean)

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