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Our Crossed Paths

 
There is sadness portrayed,
that seeks my soul.
Let us tend to your hurts
Where love is the potion.
Hold us close to your way
Others are kept at bay
This fear of being
Must decline, as it is fragile
 
Think of us each morning
Before you start your day
We will walk with you
Along rough ways.
Picking up the stones
That are strewn there
Then you may journey
Without these cares
 
Child, take up our ways,
as they are there for you.
Just for a fleeting time
we have been told
Just hold us now and then,
our lightness will attend.

There you will not be scarred,
your fear will subside
That walking this path with you,
to feel, touch, then share.
Know we care.
Then also know.
We walk with you..

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
An old one just touch a little to see if it can find a niche..
Editing stage: 

Comments

Sure you stumble a little, find it hard to grasp the finer points of prosody but who else could tackle a subject like this without sounding like a sentimental hack?
The answer?
No-one else I have ever read.
It has only taken me about 8 years to learn to truly appreciate your work.
I don't lack for intellect or appreciation, I can just be a little slow [smiles wryly].
Thank you for your continuing unconditional gifts.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Thank you my Brother, your visit is always very welcome.
We have been here for many years now, and though we walked many pathways, we still see from different eyes.
Sometimes as with this piece, which is still rough, our sight has grown close.
I am so glad that my gifts to you over the years have begun to take on that unconditional love that I use.
Life has been kind to me and I have to make up complications to write about many things so your good comments on some of my subjects raises my mind to find another level.
One day I hope to find a write of mine that excels all the others so far, so you are stuck with me probably for ever.
Smiling into my imaginary beard and thinking,
How the hell does he cope with all that hair..
Love you Bru as always,
Youyrs Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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