Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Optimist Mourns

I have heard your whisper and glass rattle of chilled jade.
I have heard your grained applause under the floorboards.
I have eaten these kitsch doll parts you have buried under the cemetery's rune marks. One more!
On my morning walks, I have seen the egg white of your eyes flip...shells breaking on the sea shore...remember?.
So here I am, staring upward as always. I see your face in the clouds, the blue and always distracted me from my meetings.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


Like the numbers...
the use of senses..
Like the shore..the sea
parts and eyes..

Love the last line...
the meetings...

meetings...with whom.
a gathering singular...
a place to go...


Thank You!


author comment

I love your writing
there is so much to it
I read you...

today it is snowing
much to do
and Im in a sarcastic time for the
mish mash happy
false idiots
but thats okay
they know too..
and the rest..
whom want
a tender moment
if I catch it will
get it
Im not that
hard.. everything
hard is just hard..

Thank You!

weather and fall weather are the most poetic weathers. Ha!

Thank you so much for your kind comments!

author comment

Every phrase steep ponderous and eloquent
Each word a surprise
I love the way you work
So good is rare in any ranks. Makes me want something but I don't quite no what or how to get it

you friend

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.