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Only A Hint

Submitted by gregwa8 on Tue, 2019-07-02 04:13

flavored water
is the sexiest of drinks
like a person in just
their underwear

laced
with lemons
or silky
strawberries

a strap of
earl grey tea
only a hint
of clothing

like the human form
water
doesn't need much
to taste
full bodied

& sweet

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Marthalyn

Tue, 2019-07-02 10:18

I did enjoy your imagery and connection of water with the sensuous human form and you presented some sweet associations there. The rhythm and meter threw me off-point a bit. It might be beneficial to tighten that up. I think it's an unusual and fun subject to work with.

Respectfully,

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