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Oh my love

This cliche teenage heart drums in rhythm with the pounding and rushing and whirring of the world surrounding me. Trapped within a cage of skin and bone, throbbing to be free, begging to be let go.
I can't escape and these bonds won't break. I'm stuck within this conforming body and doomed to become just another dying soul.
Crimson on the inside and full of vibrant life,
yet slowly fading, unable to break the rhythm,
my heart constantly bleeding, steadily beating
sending more scarlet through my veins.
Is there anything that can set me free?
Is there anything that can break these chains?

This cliche teenage heart beats faster at the thought of you, it bursts with frenzied elation at the sight of your name, the image of your face, and the sound of your voice.
So quiet, so calm, so secret, deep, a quixotic mystery of soul and mind.
I want to know you. I want to drown in your presence, & I crave your spiritual essence.
I want to fall into the darkest cavern in your foreign mind. I desire to explore the uncharted territory of your skin & then go down--no, not physically, but still just as intimately. I want to find the you within.
Whisper to me softly, sweetly, all of your fears. I'll fight them all away if you only promise to hold me close to your side and don't ever turn away from me.
Admittedly, I'm not too great to deal with, I have a voice that clangs & crashes through beautiful silence. The words that drip from my tongue draw tales of enraged violence. But if only you would trust me, know me, save me, my jagged edges & angry thorns may dull and soften, slowly.

I know I sound silly, foolish, like a naive little girl. I know I sound like the type of person who would dig her own grave and pound the nails into her own coffin. I know I sound irrational and brash. I know I sound as if I'm only looking for an escape or some fantasy land with a runaway path...
But I swear, it's merely coincidence, destiny, mercy--anything. Something sweet and kind dared to take pity on me & my tortured mind. They sent me a love, a lust, a partner in crime and someone to awaken my shallow heart and drive me to fighting for my freedom.
This cliche teenage beats faster at the thought of you, it bursts with frenzied elation, pumping electric blood through my young veins.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


I like this, it's different lay out, but i would remove some of the ands, ie, with the pounding rushing whirring of the world surrounding me, a quixotic mystery of soul, of mind. Also i would have, a partner, someone to awaken my shallow heart, do away with (crime and and) Just my thoughts and i would wait for others to give theirs. Nice poem Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thank you loads for your suggestions! When I finally get around to revising this poem again (procrastination is a glorious thing...) I'll try to be mindful of the "ands" and such.
Thank you again, the feedback is greatly appreciated.

Make your life an act of love.

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