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Nursery Crimes

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To commit fornication
Now Jill has got to pop 'the' pill
Cos Jack didn't use protection.

Twinkle twinkle little star,
Grew up to be a superstar
Now she behaves like a skank,
Cos it puts millions in the bank.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty 'staged' a big fall
Now he's crippled but life is great,
Cos he won when he sued the state.

Little Jack Horner - sat in a corner,
Eating his pizza pie
Eyes all blank - in the chair he sank,
Cos he was too damn high.

Old McDonald had a farm in rural Ohio,
But he lacked knowledge of making crops grow
Soon the bank foreclosed; and so he had to go,
Now he is a homeless drunk in urban Ohio.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Had this idea for a long time - a mediocre attempt at satire...
Editing stage: 


Not mediocre but good, but i think with a little more work it could be very good. Regards Roscoe....

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

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