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Night Tide (dream)

Submitted by vandiemenspeak on Mon, 2023-02-06 07:18

I think upon the water
Dreamt of in the night
It's preposterous, perfect
Ripples, linear and criss-crossing
Just so perfect
Just so right.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
A fragment...we'll see.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2023-02-06 09:45

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I see a darkened pool of water in an isolation chamber, with ripples and crisscross lines, the movement of it born of
inhalation and exhalation. I don't know why, I just do. A piece to make one think. If that is what it is for, it does the job. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Seren

Mon, 2023-02-06 11:05

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The same poem can give the reader differing images. For me it was a lake. Rippling and moving moved with a gentle breeze, kissed in starlight.

I think this is a gorgeous short poem.

Cheers Seren

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

vandiemenspeak

Fri, 2023-02-17 07:32

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First stanza of a long running theme. Thanks for taking a look.
Cheers

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

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RoseBlack

Mon, 2023-02-06 17:20

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I see a night sky, water rippling underneath. The moonlight is beating down as one floats along, pondering life's wonders. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

vandiemenspeak

Fri, 2023-02-17 07:37

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Thank you, means a lot. I've been on this platform for quite some time. It's good to be back, and I will have a look at your work, for sure.
Cheers
Chris

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment
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