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Night Fellows (Summer's Fun) (minute poem)

Laying onto cozy pillows,
(our night fellows),
they'll never fret
with nightmares' threat

or the weight of the heavy heads
when lay on beds
they'll never ache,
or shake or break.

They mum all the nights' secrecy
a policy
we should all learn
and fully earn.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
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Comments

If the pillows read your poem they will dance with joy and say O My!
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raj (sublime_ocean)

(our [fluffy] night fellows),

or the weight of the heavy heads [or weights of heavy heads]
when [they] lay on beds

They mum [keep] all the nights' secrecy
[that's a pillow] policy
we should all learn
and fully earn [for us to return]
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raj (sublime_ocean)

the read and all the thoughts dear friend.
A minute poem should have 60 syllables Only
Don't know if it still reads eloquent as it is.

P.s mum the secret = keeps the secret
So what do you think?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Oh I didn't know this Tiny form of poetry and restriction of words. It is eloquent indeed as it is...excuse my ignorance
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raj (sublime_ocean)

dear Raj :)
Thank you for the quick response and lovely words.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

yes I do :)
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raj (sublime_ocean)

dear Raj this was inspired by your awesome pillow notes #1&2
though themes may differ.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

yes different strokes about a pillow ...we spend almost 30 % of each day with and then tend to forget
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raj (sublime_ocean)

nagging you more Rula

how about Night Buddies as a title?
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raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you for your thoughts. I might do the change if you convince me that "buddies" is more apposite than "fellow" :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

i made the suggestion because a fellow could be a one night stand whereas a buddy is someone who is more permanent and more trustworthy...perhaps you could also consider mates as an alternate
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raj (sublime_ocean)

Imagery and personification eulogizing pillows aptly expresses the poet's emotions. Keep it flowing.

for the visit. Highly appreciate it.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

am I now jealous of pillows? lol. I always admire people who can write short forms this well. My stuff just drones on and on and on and on and on.............stan

when I read this comment from you in the subtext i read "I am gonna have a go at this"...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

for the penegyric.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Rula would this qualify as a tiny poem?

on her pillow lay a hair
wasn't hers
she's blond, not a brunette
she raised hell
almost stabbed hubby dead
who asked her
why are you wearing shades?

thought I would try one :)
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raj (sublime_ocean)

Crazy women!
This indeed "fit the bill"

Should the last line read
"Why you're wearing shades?"
Or
Why are you wearing shades?

Just asking

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Thanks for the suggestion Rula...already implemented...was good to hear your Hahaha does it not confirm women generally tend to be suspicious? ..lol..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

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