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A New Zealand Journey

I couldn’t hold those ones I knew
there I had to fly northward true
a beach laid out as our stories tell
its course I ran to a place I knew well.

Making haste gathering thoughts
did I know of things gone by
where I should have listened
not made someone cry?

Then other things came to me
As on I flew just by the sea
of a love I had and was so true
then the tear I had, as it was you.

This feeling of flying along the sands
the memories of me in many lands
a lonely traveler I was back then
this time the journey will never end.

I see the beach is curving now
a sparse clad stone small somehow,
It holds my feet in love to be
as I launch myself over the sea.

The Northern waves let me fly
now I know that we don’t die
a peace descended on my soul
as this spirit did homeward go.

If you are scared of things to be
Call my name, I will fly with thee.

Yenti

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is from the stories of what happens to a spirit from New Zealand..
Editing stage: 

Comments

Ah to reach the other side of that sea and have a chance to say what we should have said in the past. When the time comes will we be glad or sad?

This is a write of the beliefs of the Maori People as to what happens to their Spirit when they die, seems better than going to hell or some place the vicar told us about lol.
Hope you are both OK I send you both some healing, the knees will get better it just takes time oh and patience..
Yours as always Ian..

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Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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