Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

NEUTERED

oh better not say that
weaving tongue
better not cut my balls off
with malignant algorithm's

better not think lions shredding hyenas
while veiled demons lick assholes for car payments
and boarder children gnash heaping tears of blood
desperate for their parents loving arms
and soft troubled kisses

God looks upon his creation and says
"and it is good"

what will people think
am i a nice person
birthday face
shut eyed stiff
not dangerous, like a gun in the face

did i say the right thing,
cypher of morality
the knot of good, a slow strangle
a frightened worm
that wont risk tears

eeek
here come the scissors

technology brains wired like weaponized monkeys
eater of crumbs
heatless heart ransomed for the fucking rent

can i disappear
like a dead cat in a black box
better then tripping all over my self

strings attached with hooks
to digital shunted limbs
relics of modernism,
office life
boring like seamless gray linoleum
talking scapegoats hissing

always haunted by what's missing
guts spilling through clutched fingers

apologizing to a faceless crowd of sea shells
and bagged heads

spread sheet minds like computer screens
sitting all day, tabulators
data schmata
narrow chairs; bellies cascade and bloat
frenetic fingers and burning eyes
lungs exhaling only
robo faux; shut up
happy chappy snappy
key punchers
punched out

there's a part of me thats been crying since birth

be careful
the wolf is at the door
in this land;
the land of the free and the brave

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

yeah I think it is a difficult read. I find my self writing as if to start a line of thought and then writing another in away that crates a kind of discontinuity as opposed to a narrative that is continuous always depending on the reader to work hard enough to tie the thing together
So I really appreciate you taking the time and effort to put it together in your own head

Thank you kindly April for reading my poem and your comments So very appreciated !!!!!

author comment

there's a part of me thats been crying since birth

I love this line. It is strong it makes my heart ache.

Seamless linoleum is a mean (in a good way) metaphor.
I like your anger, your tapping cadence, I see your veins on your neck puffed when you recite it.

IRiz

Thank you IRiz , so appreciated This poem is a reflection of my life's current turbulence …..and you got it ! The fear and rage I've been dealing with lately

author comment

Thanks for your comments and sharing your sense of things

How much fear
How much courage
that is the question..... everything gets tested sooner or later

author comment

It was bothering me for hours almost since I wrote it with out much thought given originally and then it boomeranged and at 1 am I thought malignant because my online business has been haven a hella time due to new destructive algorithms imposed by the large platforms I use

Thank you for noticing
It is incredibly appreciated Lowell

Best Z

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.