Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Naked Trees Autumn(November Contest)

It's time to flow,
the time of fall.
the period to past prime,
when deciduous loses their
green pages.
the annual of receding,
a season to decline.

An hour of wave has arrived,
when greenery depreciates.
as yeender breath ice,
the night smoke dust.
the trees look worried,
for their naked moment is here.

A fig is looking nude,
it's figure seems budding.
the flower savored,
perhaps is refreshment.
the leaves speak dried,
from green to brown fly high.

The frugivorous aves
sing joyfully,
though hides no more.
for the plight of tree has
gripped their beauty,
it swing away their pride shades.
the autumn is ross,
indeed n-a-t-u-r-a-l.

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

goodluck to the contest

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

Thanks chiori,i really appreciate and goodluck too

author comment

A lot of good imagery here. A few errors in word use caused some trips. Good luck in contest.....stan

i will work on it,thanks for your information sir.

author comment

It's ok

Love the worried trees!
Also I did not know you had seasons as we do in the Northeast, I thought Nigeria was more tropical.
How cold does it get get there?

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

here in Nigeria there are states that are as cold as ice,and some are not that cold.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.