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Mythology Of Rebirth

Survival of Myths- ala- Modernally
Of Rebirth...

Magnificent myth

No one has ever been reborn
Yes similar avatars/incarnations may be

Years ago one died nearly at birth
now ICU's ensure you prolong another 10 days or so
docs may earn some additional dough
they too have a family to grow
and
they will more medicines in your tummy sow
ere you need it upstairs also
and
then when you close your eyes
yes your are done with mommy earth
and
you finally go
join the universe as its original
magnetism
a neutron or proton

a drop of water in the ocean
who will ever find thee
let me know,
wash out my ignorance if you can
else change with modern times

Sir here I see you alone are
of all of us the ''mostest'' intelligent
living being still professing
something which has no proof
stay blessed compose more such poetry

amen- ameen- aman

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

One of your better writes I have left a piece that depicts the Great Spirit Bears Wisdom,
This one is about Death and rebirth for you to glance at.
Take care young Bard,
Yours Sparrow a chattering in the trees..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I would prefer a little more focus. The one who almost died at birth but only lived a short while is a very interesting theme for a poem. I would dig deeper there.
Starting a work with "No one has ever been reborn" is very daring, but not backed up, and i'm not sure anyone can say that conclusively...it has no proof, but no faith does. If that's what you believe, you have to prove it to us- with image, satire, irony...

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thanks for your vision
based on my OWN PERSONAL life's
over 7 decades experience
a poet's version

My own thoughts I share
you may
only if you care
As a poet it's poetically mythyical

no conviction is needed
take it or leave it
have your FAITH
survive poetry
you are also equally
FREE
like anyone or me

I don't want to prevail
upon any one or thee

you are free to overrule or condemn me
if you have solid proof
else let's in this living life
onwards/forwards proceed
Thank eee

author comment

I see you have answered a comment on your piece did you not see that I had left you a Blog from the Great Spirit Bear about such things.
It could do with an acknowledgement from you at least,
Yours Ian.

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

i love it.

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