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My Time...

The hushed hour before dawn
Pastel-pink wash on a sky of robin-egg blue
Just for me

Blackbirds wired like notes in a song
Silhouetted on lamb's-white wall

Radio soft-rock
Girls just wanta have fun
The donut-girl going to work

Neon come on's blink breakfast
Cigarette and coffee in the church parking-lot
Too early for God

Murmers of male voices behind dispatch blare
Buy a car they say
Fly United [heh heh]
Time shares for sale

And I write ...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Impressions of the start of another taxi-day.

Comments

beautiful feel
favourite line - 'Pastel-pink wash on a sky of robin-egg blue'

i can see you sitting there at your computer writing this
makes me feel closer to you
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Oh no! You mean my spy-ware isn't working? LOL Thank you Judy, that is one of my favorite lines too.
I just love that this makes you feel closer. I guess that is what I am aiming for, to make people feel closer to me through my work. ~ Love ya too, ~ Gee

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or as you say, colour. No matter what the colour, or the weather, I love the hour before dawn. It is a very peacful time of the day. Not many people up and around yet, and the very earth is gathering it's strength to deal with the fuss of humanity. The blackbirds sitting on a wire, seem to look like notes in a sheet of music. The parking lot across from the church is a good place to watch all this happening. Love ya, ~ Gee

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I have come this far, in the company of some of the best poets in the world, and you are not the least of them. I learn from watching you all, and I have as much pleasure as anyone in being here. Thank you for being here with me. How was your concert? Be sure and check in often. Love and higgest bugs, to you and yours. ~ Gee

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You captured the peace of day's beginning well here........scribbler

I am glad that I could get what I meant down so that others could share it with me. ~ Gee

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I like the clear, distinct images , the bevity of each snapshot, as if glimpsed just briefly from, say a taxi. Then I read your "last few words" note!

I like this piece a lot

Is the "Fly United (heh heh)" a private joke?

Al

A friend of mine has a T- shirt, that shows two ducks [flying united]. Indeed, that was my intent, to show the scenes in brevity, like snatches of thought, and scenes seen from a taxi. Thank you, ~ Gee

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for God, is a thought I had in looking at the church, all dark and no one there yet. Thank you for the kind words, ~ Gee

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Very evocative , I really felt like I was there.

Love ya lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I am glad that you were there, that was my intent, and I am so glad that I succeeded. Next time I will talk to you, and ask you for tea or coffee. If you like coffee, you would like our Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee, and the blueberry muffins are great! We could sit and look at the dawn of the day, and you can meet some of my fares. Love ya, Yoda

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These lines would work very well just as they are, like a series of haikus if you know what I mean, or altogether as they are, the imagery is quite stunning.

John

I missed replying to a comment! I must be getting old. Thank you, I might have made Haikus, but opted for this format instead, simply because I wanted to keep the flow, as though un-interrupted thought. Thank you much for the read and comments, ~ Gee

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Between each moment of our lives
there lies timelessness of thought
eternities of peace
endless reflections of life's grace.
Guess what
you captured one again.

Most very well done.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

The capture of those moments are my writing-life's desire. To have others recognise those moments, make it all worthwhile.
~ Gee

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Gee,

I often do my writing in the early hours of the morning, and that last hour before dawn is the most inspiring hour of them all.

I really felt this piece and it was good to know you enjoy the same hour as i do.

Great imagery, perfectly written.

Nice work Gee,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

means something to me. The fact that another writer and poet-friend, feels that my efforts are something to relate to, makes it worth doing. Ever since I was a child, I have had a special relationship with the early-morning hoiurs, and especially the last hour before dawn! It seems as though there is a silent alarm-clock, that wakes the animals and lets the rest of the world sleep for just a little. I try to be still, so that the day doesn't know that I am up yet, and I sometimes get rewarded with the most amazing scenes ! ~ Thank you, ~ Gee

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This is a lovely, superb poem. Thank you for writing and sharing it.

I'm soooooooooo glad to be back!

~A

p.s. Going back to read the comments it occurred to me that maybe the one thing we have in common is writing pre-dawn. The silence and beauty of sunrise... just before the world starts turning, is incredibly tender. Like this poem,

glad to see you back. Thank you for the kind words and the sharing of your thoughts. Yes, the pre-dawn hours are the best, they always move me. ~ Gee

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Everyone has said what a wonderful poem this is and I agree 100%!!

Thank you for sharing with us.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am glad that so many people like this one, it shows a few little pieces of who I am, and what I do. And we all want to be loved and understood. Glad to share, ~ Gee

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